0
Cathyregar Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Please correct my writing
Hallo everyone,
I am trying to write a short story in English, because I am sure that my English needs a lot of improvement.
But I haven't found anyone who wants to read it and correct it.
Do help me out, show me the mistakes and how to write it properly.
A few weeks ago we bought Mitchel a second-hand bike, since he needed a bigger one. It is a second-hand bicycle but he didn't get the meaning of it, so he's been told his classmates and everyone he's met that the bike was brandnew. He is definitely pleased with it and has rode on it ever since to his school and everywhere else.
Mitchel had been badgering us to buy him a water bottle which suited the bike. I think he would have loved to feign as a professional biker. We promised him that he will be having one if he has passed his swimming test, which he will be doing it in a few weeks to come. Of course he totally refused to understand that and he kept grilling us for few days, but he finally quit whining when we bought him a cycle helmet.
Last week, the inevitable happened. As we led our bike out the shed, my bike hit his. For a second he just stood there with agape in his mouth, shot me a scowl and suddenly he made a muffled cry, and before I knew it he was bawling at me. Gosh, I had never seen him so furious before. He mumbled, murmured and cried about his new bike being damage. I tried my very best to pacify him, saying that his bike was okay and I didn't leave any scars on the bike, and if I did no one could ever find out since that was a new bike. Eventually, he did buy what I told him. I heaved a sigh of relief when he stopped crying and to cheered him up I had allow him to have a sweet.
I thank you so much for your time and appreciate every help you can give.
Cathy
I am trying to write a short story in English, because I am sure that my English needs a lot of improvement.
But I haven't found anyone who wants to read it and correct it.
Do help me out, show me the mistakes and how to write it properly.
A few weeks ago we bought Mitchel a second-hand bike, since he needed a bigger one. It is a second-hand bicycle but he didn't get the meaning of it, so he's been told his classmates and everyone he's met that the bike was brandnew. He is definitely pleased with it and has rode on it ever since to his school and everywhere else.
Mitchel had been badgering us to buy him a water bottle which suited the bike. I think he would have loved to feign as a professional biker. We promised him that he will be having one if he has passed his swimming test, which he will be doing it in a few weeks to come. Of course he totally refused to understand that and he kept grilling us for few days, but he finally quit whining when we bought him a cycle helmet.
Last week, the inevitable happened. As we led our bike out the shed, my bike hit his. For a second he just stood there with agape in his mouth, shot me a scowl and suddenly he made a muffled cry, and before I knew it he was bawling at me. Gosh, I had never seen him so furious before. He mumbled, murmured and cried about his new bike being damage. I tried my very best to pacify him, saying that his bike was okay and I didn't leave any scars on the bike, and if I did no one could ever find out since that was a new bike. Eventually, he did buy what I told him. I heaved a sigh of relief when he stopped crying and to cheered him up I had allow him to have a sweet.
I thank you so much for your time and appreciate every help you can give.
Cathy
Top answer
Hi A few weeks ago , we had bought Mitchel a second-hand bike, since he needed a bigger one. He did not understand what a 'second-hand' means , so he's been telling his classmates and everyone he's met that the bike was brand new. He is definitely pleased with it and has ridden on it ever since , to his school and everywhere else.
- Hi A few weeks ago , we had bought Mitchel a second-hand bike, since he needed a bigger one.
- He did not understand what a 'second-hand' means , so he's been telling his classmates and everyone he's met that the bike was brand new.
- He is definitely pleased with it and has ridden on it ever since , to his school and everywhere else.
- Mitchel had been badgering us to buy him a water bottle which suited the bike.
- I think he would have loved to feign as a professional biker.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
4 Answers
0
Hi
A few weeks ago, we had bought Mitchel a second-hand bike, since he needed a bigger one. He did not understand what a 'second-hand' means, so he's been telling his classmates and everyone he's met that the bike was brand new. He is definitely pleased with it and has ridden on it ever since, to his school and everywhere else. Mitchel had
A few weeks ago, we had bought Mitchel a second-hand bike, since he needed a bigger one. He did not understand what a 'second-hand' means, so he's been telling his classmates and everyone he's met that the bike was brand new. He is definitely pleased with it and has ridden on it ever since, to his school and everywhere else. Mitchel had
00
Hi Prajwal,
Thank you for the correction, I really appreciate it.
I have a questions;
Thank you for the correction, I really appreciate it.
I have a questions;
- A few weeks ago, we had bought Mitchel a second-hand bike.----> I thought it should have been "bought" since the event happens in the past.
- He totally refused to understand------> why the sentence sounds ambigous to you? Could you please be more s
00
Hi
1. I used it because 'the action was done and completed in the past.' However, it is optional.
2. I wonder how can you refuse to understand something? You can say 'failed to understand' here.
Or, 'refused to accept'.
3. For the same reason as #1. It is optional.
1. I used it because 'the action was done and completed in the past.' However, it is optional.
2. I wonder how can you refuse to understand something? You can say 'failed to understand' here.
Or, 'refused to accept'.
3. For the same reason as #1. It is optional.
A few corrections in your post:
Thank you for the co
00
Hi,
I understand your explanation, thank you.
I need to improve my English, the more input/correction/lesson I get the better my Englihs will be.
Thank you for your time....I am now making another anecdotes, you welcome to correct it.
Regards,
Cathy
I understand your explanation, thank you.
I need to improve my English, the more input/correction/lesson I get the better my Englihs will be.
Thank you for your time....I am now making another anecdotes, you welcome to correct it.
Regards,
Cathy
0
Related Questions