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Ch541k3838 Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please correct my writing

Hello, please correct my writing. It's a descriptive paragraph.

And is any word appropriate? What can I improve?

thanks a lotEmotion: big smile

The Terrible Earthquake

I went through a terrible earthquake. This event happened on September 21, 1999 at one forty-seven am. On that day I went to bed at eleven pm as usual. When earthquake happened, everything was shaking heavily, and books on the wooden shelf in my room fell down. Thus I woke up with fearfulness because of stunning sounds. Suddenly, my home plunged into darkness. I was scared so that I leaned tightly against the wall and grabbed the edge of wooden table. At this time, my mind went blank and I feared that I would die at this earthquake. Later my father ran into my room to take me out of my room. All my family went outside and stayed with my neighbors until dawn. Many houses collapsed and many people died in this earthquake. Fortunately, all my family and friends were safe. It’s the most serious and biggest earthquake that I have experienced. I would not forget this dreadful earthquake during my lifetime.
  

Top answer

Hello, ch-- and welcome to English Forums. I have underlined some problem areas and crossed out unnecessary verbiage: The Terrible Earthquake I went through a terrible earthquake. This event happened on September 21, 1999 at one forty-seven am.

  • Hello, ch-- and welcome to English Forums.
  • I have underlined some problem areas and crossed out unnecessary verbiage: The Terrible Earthquake I went through a terrible earthquake.
  • This event happened on September 21, 1999 at one forty-seven am.
  • On that day I went to bed at eleven pm as usual.
  • When earthquake happened, everything was shaking heavily, and books on the wooden shelf in my room fell down.
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1 Answers
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Hello, ch-- and welcome to English Forums. I have underlined some problem areas and crossed out unnecessary verbiage:

The Terrible Earthquake

I went through a terrible earthquake. This event happened on September 21, 1999 at one forty-seven am. On that day I went to bed at eleven pm as usual. When earthquake happened, everything was shaking heavily, and

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