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Up Posted 13 years ago
Grammar

Please correct my text below:

The story of an eraser and a pencil.

Pencil: I'm sorry.

Eraser: What's that for, dear? You didn't do anything wrong, did you?

Pencil: Oh yes I did, you've suffered a pain only because of me. Whenever I make a mistake, you are always with me to help me correct it. But when you do that, you hurt yourself. Every time like that, you are smaller and weaker.

Eraser: That's right! But honey, never mind! You know, I was created to do this. I was created to help you whenever you make mistakes. Though I know I will disappear someday and you will have another mother, I'm still happy with what I did for you. Thus, don't worry, dear! I don't like seeing you when you're sad.
  

Top answer

Very clever. And I see no major mistakes. Here are some suggestions, however.

— Philip

  • Very clever.
  • And I see no major mistakes.
  • Here are some suggestions, however.
  • you've suffered a pain (much pain, many pains) Every time like that (each time, every time) what I did I've done for you [ I'm not sure the "mother"-concept works.
  • Perhaps 'partner'?
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3 Answers
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Very clever. And I see no major mistakes. Here are some suggestions, however.
you've suffered a pain (much pain, many pains)
Every time like that (each time, every time)
what I did I've done for you
[ I'm not sure the "mother"-concept works. Perhaps 'partner'? ]
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Hi up,

Please do not post twice.

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Yoong LiatHi up,Please do not post twice.
Yes, I know that. I waited but no one replied. The deadline is coming and I can't wait for so long.
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