Please correct my Task 1 essay

Thanks to the wonderful people here. Finally, I have booked my ielts exam (computer-based) on july! I am getting anxious day by day. Aside from correcting my essay, do you know how to grade essays based on IELTS descriptors?

The bar graph depicts the availability of computers and the accessibility of the internet among the people of nine Arabian nations. The figures are reported per 1000 inhabitants.

Overall, although UAE residents account for the highest figures in terms of computer accessibility and internet connectivity with far more than any of the given countries, majority of the people in the Arab world have limited access to them.

About 340 computers are available per 1000 people in UAE and roughly half of them are connected to the internet. This is followed, with a large margin, by Kuwaitis with 120 computers and 100 internet connections per 1000 people. On the other hand, Lebanon, Oman, Jordan and Saudi Arabia have within 40 to 70 computers per inhabitants, while only about 20 to 70 people per 1000 are able to access the internet.

Regarding the availability of computers and internet connection in Egypt, Morroco, and Syria, the figures are relatively similar. In these countries, computers and the internet could only be accessed by less than 20 per 1000 residents.