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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please correct my Statement of Purpose letter?

Hello, I'm asked to write a Statement of Puropose letter for an exchange program with the USA. I'd appreciate it if you check it.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am currently a second year Mechanical Engineering student and I have always had a desire for studying abroad. When introduced to this exchange program, I realized that this was an excellent opportunity to do that. Studying in the USA for one semester will definitely be a unique experience.

First of all, I would like to gain international experience. Companies I will be working for are probably going to be international companies. Furthermore, I have plans to go to a graduate school in the USA. With this program, I will get to know the educational system in the United States better and I will have the chance to live in a foreign country by myself.

Secondly, experiencing new cultures has always been a passion for me. Making new friends, seeing new, sophisticated places will contribute a lot to me. I will have the chance to increase my knowledge of the American culture.

Lastly, getting an excellent engineering education with the latest equipment available seems very intriguing. Campus life and social oppurtunities of American universities also interest me a lot. Improving my foreign language knowledge, especially English and practicing with native speakers is another aspect of this program.

I am looking forward to studying at your university for one semester. I am sure that it will be one of the most remarkable memories in my life.
  

Top answer

I have underlined some problem areas and crossed out some useless verbiage: Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a second year Mechanical Engineering student and I have always had a desire for studying abroad. When introduced to this exchange program, I realized that this was an excellent opportunity to do that . Studying in the USA for one semester will definitely be a unique experience.

  • I have underlined some problem areas and crossed out some useless verbiage: Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a second year Mechanical Engineering student and I have always had a desire for studying abroad.
  • When introduced to this exchange program, I realized that this was an excellent opportunity to do that .
  • Studying in the USA for one semester will definitely be a unique experience.
  • First of all, I would like to gain international experience.
  • I plan to go to a graduate school in the USA.
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1 Answers
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I have underlined some problem areas and crossed out some useless verbiage:


Dear Sir/Madam,

I am currently a second year Mechanical Engineering student and I have always had a desire for studying abroad. When introduced to this exchange program, I realized that this was an excellent opportunity to do that. Studying in the USA for one sem

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