Please correct my SOP, I tried my best Y_Y?

I am not good at English, but I have to write SOP.
Please help me correcting my poor SOP.

My intention to study engineering was strongly influenced by my father who had his own air conditioning business. My father always taught me how air conditioning system worked as well as a lot of other things related to mechanism since I was just 10 years old. I was interested in how these things worked. Therefore, I chose to study in pre-engineering school instead of ordinary high school. I learned a lot of practical engineering skills when I was there. I was taught to use various machines and tools in order to pave the way for studying mechanical engineering in the future. After graduating from this school, I did not hesitate to seize the opportunity to study further in Mechanical Engineering as my bachelor’s degree. Mathematics became my favorite subject and also led me to become involved in several university activities: I participated in Engineering Mathematics contest held by Council of Engineers (COE) then I got Honorable mention prize from this contest, and I was tutor for fresh student. Plus my department nominated me as outstanding student for the scholarship from Isuzu, Car Company, and finally I got it.
While I was studying many engineering, I really wanted to adapt my knowledge to calculate engineering problems found in daily life, for example, I wanted to help my father to calculate the best position for installing indoor conditioning unit. I faced many problems, according to the complexity of equations which was difficult to solve by hands. During my fourth year, I conducted an experiment, my senior project, which was concerned with finding an optimum shape of alcohol distillation pot still. I used Ansys software to analyze my project, and then I found that it was very convenient using this software to analyze the problem. Eventually, I was interested in this field and wanted to study further.
I pursued my own interest by applying for scholarship from my government. After taking part in a contest against many contestants throughout the country, I got the scholarship for studying master’s degree and also doctor of philosophy in computational engineering. I made a contract with the government that I will become a researcher at ministry of science after graduating. My learning outcomes are expected to be a pioneer in the field of computational engineering which will develop our own computer-aided engineering (CAE) software in Thailand because this field is brand new in my country and there is just only software developed by other countries, and to contribute towards many industries who need CAE in their works.
After graduating, I always concerned myself with kind of research works in order to establish my research skills. I worked with my project advisor as a research assistant at Energy System and Monitoring & verification control research center (ESMVC) for 3 months. I assisted my advisor to carry out project of proposing energy standard for diesel-engine in Thailand cooperated with ministry of energy. My main duty was to analyze data of energy consumed by diesel-engine from the past until the next 10 years, then compared every data and calculated the potential of this project. I used variety of numerical techniques to predict the results in each case as well as applied thermodynamics laws to analyze this system in the calculation part. In addition, I had an opportunity to write an article about the newest technology of vehicle published in Society of Automotive Engineers Thailand bulletin.
Furthermore, I also got scholarship from The International Association for the Exchange of Students for Technical Experience (IAESTE) for students who wanted to gain a technical experience relevant to their studies, so I went to university of Tehran at Iran for internship program as research assistant dealing with Cable-suspended robot research. I was assigned to read a lot of papers relating to robotic in order to write program of solving kinematic and kinetic problems of robotic. I used Python as my computer programming because I had to deal with a lot of matrix converting, so it was easier using the array module in Python than other computer programming to solve the problem. Doing research interested me gradually day after day during internship period. Although it was not a large research, I did my research on the ground of academic freedom, and I liked it very much because I was not forced to do, read, and even think of anything in the way that other people did before. While I was doing research, I naturally learned research methodology by myself.
The main reason that I decide to apply to the University of Utah is that your Master of Science in Computational Engineering and Science program is unique because your purpose of this program which is to train students in the use of various techniques for the solution of problems in engineering meets my need. I believe that your program can serve as a stepping-stone for me who want to continue in Doctor of Philosophy in Mechanical Engineering emphasis on computational engineering at your university.

I would be grateful if anyone could help me.
Thank you very much