Please correct my sentence below..thank you

Question

Your invoice submitted to us recently is still included the two claims below despites several email sent by Clarke rejecting both claims.

As instructed by Clarke’s email below, we will not proceed to invoice these two items and hereby request you to revise your invoice to remove the above mentioned claims accordingly.

Cwtch · Accepted Answer

Several issues:

1. The style is harsh. It sounds angry. Is this someone you want to continue to do business with? It doesn't come across that way.

2. Does the fact that Clark rejected the claim resolve the issue? Perhaps they know that Clark rejected the claim and they rejected Clark's rejection. That's what I think. However, I don't know. It's just a guess.

3. Grammatical errors:

~~Your invoice submitted to us recently is still included the two claims below despites several email sent by Clarke rejecting both claims.~~

~~As instructed by Clarke’s email below, we will not proceed to invoice these two items and hereby request you to revise your invoice to remove the above mentioned claims accordingly.~~

Dear X,

Your latest invoice indicates two claims that Clark has previously rejected. Therefore, we cannot process this invoice until the issue of these two claims is resolved. Please either revise your invoice or indicate why you believe the two disputed claims should be processed.

Please feel free to call to discuss.

Sincerely,

Y

If Clark is the end all, be all, master of claims, then the tone can still be revised:

Dear X,

Unfortunately, we cannot process your latest invoice because it still indicates the two claims previously rejected by Clark. Please revise and resubmit. Thank you for rectifying this situation and we will process the invoice as soon as we receive the revision.

Thank you for your business.

Sincerely,

Y

The same meaning is there but it doesn't make you seem rigid, angry, rude, harsh or hard to work with. You have put the ball in their court but let them know you care about them by processing the invoice quickly and by being courteous. You have been polite with please and thank you. This matters. I don't know where the letter is going, but if it is to the American south, I wouldn't suggest holding your breath for a reply as originally written.

"You catch more flies with honey than vinegar."

(I've always wondered why anyone would want to catch flies in the first place.

)

Anonymous · Answer

With reference to the singed contract between Orbit & Novotel WTC I would like to request you to send an invoice from Orbit in order to process payment. I have already received an invoice from “Krishcom Satelite Equipment Trading” but as the contract is between Orbit & Novotel WTC we can’t prepare cheque under Krishcom’s name. Its audit requirement.

Anonymous · Answer

People have once taken trips to places that they have truly loved.

BarbaraPA · Answer

AnonymousPeople have once taken trips to places that they have truly loved.

Do you mean that these days, we only go to places we despise?

Try to say what you mean another way. Your meaning isn't coming through.

Anonymous · Answer

the date is workable

BarbaraPA · Answer

Anonymousthe date is workable

Did you have a question?

Anonymous · Answer

He was malicious about some underserved criticism the waiter had received.

Clive · Answer

Hi,

He was malicious about some underserved criticism the waiter had received.

Do you mean 'undeserved'?

I don't understand at all what the sentence means? Can you try to say it another way?

Who is 'he'? The manager? A customer? The chef?

Clive

Anonymous · Answer

but the below invoice have also problem check this msg it's correct or not confirm

Clive · Answer

The  attached  invoice also has a problem.

Please correct my sentence below..thank you

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