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Gar 147 Posted 9 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please correct my narrative, it's a restory from "The displaced person"

AN UNREQUITED LOVE

It was after World War II when a polish family of refugees – Mr. Guizac, his wife and two children - moved to Mrs. McIntyre´s farm in the south of the USA to start a new life.

A few days after their arrival, Mr. Guizac proved his boss that he was the most skillful worker she had ever had. He maneuvered the tractor as no other employee did and didn´t get into any illegal business. The only problem was that as soon as he saw his co-worker, Mr. Shortley, he fell in love; and he was married to Mrs. Shortley, who wasn´t pleased at all with their arrival since she regarded “the exiled” as trouble-makers.

One damp afternoon, when the women and the children had gone to town to do the shopping, lazy Mr. Shortley, taking advantage that his boss wasn´t around, decided to take a nap. No sooner had he fallen profoundly asleep than Mr. Guizac sat on the bed next to him, silently, to watch him sleep. He couldn’t help feeling tempted to kiss him and, though he was nervous, followed his impulse. But what he didn’t know was that his boss and his wife were right behind him, since they had left the wallet and had come back straight away to take it. “What do you think you’re doing?” Mrs. Shortley yelled hysterically. He was petrified. To make matters worse, Mr. Shortley woke up in a bad mood and, seeing the foreigner sat next to him made him furious, so as soon as he got up he punched Mr. Guizac in the face so strongly that he knocked him out, and left him with a bleeding nose. As everyone, even his own family, despised him, he remained unconscious on the ground.

A few hours later, dizzy as he felt, he got back to work, squatting on the ground beside a small tractor to repair it, completely unaware that he was facing his own death as a consequence of his burning desires: Mr. Shortley, who was still mad at him, had headed a large tractor toward the small one and braked it on a slight incline. The tractor rolled over on him.

  

Top answer

It was after World War II when a P olish family of refugee s, Mr. Guizac, his wife and two childre n, moved to Mrs. McIntyr e's farm in the south of the USA to start a new life.

  • It was after World War II when a P olish family of refugee s, Mr.
  • Guizac, his wife and two childre n, moved to Mrs.
  • McIntyr e's farm in the south of the USA to start a new life.
  • A few days after their arrival, Mr.
  • Guizac proved to his boss that he was the most skillful worker she had ever had.
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It was after World War II when a Polish family of refugees, Mr. Guizac, his wife and two children, moved to Mrs. McIntyre's farm in the south of the USA to start a new life.

A few days after their arrival, Mr.

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