Please correct my letter of motivation :)

Hi,

i need an letter of motivation for my appliance to a summer school in New York. My english is not as good as I wish. I hope someone could read about it and correct it?
Please be honest!

Dear Sir or Madam,

with this letter of motivation, I am applying for the summer school in New York City in August 2014. I´m studying economics in the second semester (term?) at the XY in Z. Before I began my studies in economics, I successfully finished an apprenticeship as a management assistant for insurance and finance with the overall grade: excellent. This certificates my ability to handle complex tasks, work out solutions to practical problems, clarify background information and evaluate results. During this time I learned that’s it´s vital for success to put a lot of effort into the actual task.

I consciously decided to study economics for advancing my vocational training. One of the main aspects of my studies are the improvement of my mathematically understanding and treatment of problems. From my point of view, especially the ability to generate and utilize theoretically economic models is the perfect expansion to my practical apprenticeship.

For my future career I aspire a leading position in an international acting financial service. To fit the requirements, it is important to get the necessary background of the business, knowledge and soft-skills. Especially nowadays the use of English and international experiences are as important as it was never before.
After looking through the materials of the international students´ office of my university, I was very delighted to find the opportunity to stay six weeks in New York City.

Relating to those requirements, there is from my point of view no city where I could gather better impressions and gain more experiences as New York, which exerts a significant impact upon commerce, finance and research. New York is therefore a global hub of international business. It coincides all the required qualifications these days and outlines the modern, American business culture. This and the NY-Stock-Exchange, which is one of the major trading floors in the world make it the largest financial center we know so far. Furthermore a high number of colleges and universities are located in this powerful city. A lot of them have been ranked among the top institutes in the world.

Therefore the summer school in New York City is perfectly fitting into my planned route for my graduation, including the skill-seminar, two management courses and the opportunity to discuss current issues with company-representatives.

To participate in (?) the summer school, would not only make me proud, it is a lot more than that. It´s my chance to fulfill my dreams of an international study in one of the most amazing cities on earth. It´s a unique chance to be part of this opportunity and I will put all my effort into it. With my ability to relate with people, my wide-spread knowledge and my determination to use this exchange program as a milestone of my further career I am the right choice for this program.

Thank you for considering my request. I am looking forward to your acceptance.

Yours faithfully,

XYZ