Please correct my IELTS task 2 essay. Thank you!!

It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Natural-born talent versus acquired talent has long been a controversial debate. Although many people think that innate talent is superior, I strongly believe that it is not the key to one's success. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence as to why anyone with proper teaching and intensive practices can be as equally successful.

Innate talents are closely associated with genetics. People that are born talented often demonstrate extraordinary progress from an early age, and they may need not work as hard as others to achieve remarkable results. Many famous musicians or athletes around the world have proved this. For instance, Leo Messi- one of the greatest footballers, is considered a born-talent as he was known to be a phenomenon since the age of 6. Therefore, many people argue that no matter how hardworking an individual is, innate talents will always outdo him/her.

On the other hand, is it claimed that "practice makes perfect"- any child could be a genius if there is enough dedication and professional guidance. I agree with this statement. In my opinion, what people are born with usually plays a minimal part in the grand scheme of things. A good example of this being the story of the tortoise and the hare. Despite being a naturally fast runner, the hare was beaten due to its incautiousness.

In conclusion, I believe that passion and perseverance are more essential, though innate talent can still be a huge advantage in life.

How can I improve my writing? Thank you for helping out!!