Please correct my IELTS essays - many thanks

Writing Task 2:

As well as making money, business also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

ANSWER:

It is true that companies have to make money and I believe that they should also conduct social activities.

On the one hand, if a company grows a good business, it could bring some following benefits. Firstly, such companies pay a considerable amount of money for tax, so the government has more budget, thereby investing in upgrading national infrastructure such as roads and hospitals. For example, thanks for a big amount of tax revenue from successful big firms, Norway is able to build one of the best hospital systems worldwide. Secondly, in well-operating firms, not only there are very few workers being made redundant, but also quite a few new jobs are created annually. This lead to a fact that many people improve living standard, therefore, live happier.

On the other hand, enterprises should accomplish their social obligations to an extent. In terms of environment, they are not allowed to discharge chemical water or dispose of toxic solid waste. They need also cut down emissions in order to prevent the greenhouse effect as well as the global warming. Regarding anthropology, companies could do charity works, which help them both benefit underprivileged people and enhance their company’s public image. For example, Unilever, a well-known brand in Vietnam, has built more than 100 houses for disadvantaged residents in rural areas in the northern Vietnam for the recent 10 years. As a result, numerous households love Unilever and keep purchasing their products.

In conclusion, it seems to me that companies ought to have social duties besides doing business.

(255 words)