Please correct my essay: IELTS writing task 2. Thank you so much

Children should always follow their parents' advice. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people said that it is good for children to always obey their parents’ advice. While I partly agree with this view, I believe that children should make their own decisions when they get older.

There are several reasons why I approve of the opinion that children should listen to their parents’ advice, especially when they are young. First, it helps them to have a stable basis to grow up. Children sometimes do not know what they are doing right or wrong. The parent is the first teacher who teaches them rights and good manners. For example, a young child may not know that getting something not belonging to them is unacceptable, then it is the parent who advises them what they should do and how to behave properly. Second, parents who are experienced always give the best recommendations for their children. It helps teenagers to have the right direction to study and work, as well as develop a healthy lifestyle.

By contrast, I believe that young people should make their decisions independently when they grow up. If a child only focuses on their parent’s instructions, they might be unable to handle problems by themselves. Similarly, they could become inactive and always rely on others. Moreover, young people would easily be fed up with their work if they pay all their attention to their parents’ advice instead of pursuing their dreams. Young people who choose a career which is chosen by their parents or someone who follows the work that is their parent’s expectation might feel it boring and tiresome in the long term.

In conclusion, I support the idea that children should follow their parents’ advice, but I believe that it is a helpful idea for parents to let their child make their own decisions.