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Aeris309 Posted 9 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please correct my essay (IELTS writing task 2)

Topic: Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages?

Essay:

Due to the demands of productivity and storage time, substances are being frequently used in various production stages of food. This leads to the situation that the way food is produced has been drastically changed. Albeit its essential benefits for our modern lives, the drawbacks of using additives in food should be more concerned.

In fact, with the help of chemicals, humanity has reached a lot of achievements that lead to the dramatic development in production of food. Firstly, using additives maintains the food nutritive value, which will increase the availability of variety of food through out of the years. This will help to save the hungers around the world, resulting in a great impact in global food issue. Another benefit from using chemicals in food production is the increase in productivity. Unlike in the past, farmers nowadays can not only harvest year-round without depending on the season but also have bumper crops thanks to using substances.

On the other hand, the demerits of chemicals are also needed to be put under consideration. Many people have claimed that if being used with insufficiency, some chemicals may make the food poisonous. Therefore, it can be said that chemicals are the potential threats of human health, which can be exemplified by the increase in cancer risk. Additionally, chemicals also affect the circulatory system, which kills both pests and useful animals. Consequently, the chemical causes a long lasting negative impact on the environment, which will be a big problem if people can not find a way to resolve thoroughly.

In conclusion, despite the merits chemicals bring, they are overshadowed by the risks of using substances insufficiently.

  
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