Please correct my essay for Task 2: too much pressure on their children

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?
********

Many parents believe that putting too much pressure on their children is a form of discipline in order for them to be successful in the future. I completely disagree to this statement and I think it will have a negative impact on them as they grow older.

Firstly, I believe that parents who put too much pressure on their children are convinced that it is a form of discipline and leads to growth and productivity. In other words, they see a strong relationship between this form of discipline and success. Perhaps, in the past they have observed that successful people had strict parents and they want to replicate this method to their children. However, the advantageous effect of this method is purely based on anecdotes and scientific researches show otherwise.

Evidence suggests that putting too much pressure on children has a detrimental effect on them. A study published in American Journal of Pediatrics surveyed 1000 children and found that children with parents who put too much pressure on them are likely to fail in schools, to exhibit anti-social behaviours, and to experience a lack of sense of fulfillment when they became adults. There are also incidents of suicide which, according to experts, are directly attributed to their upbringing. Evidently, the disadvantages of putting too much pressure on children outweigh any advantages it offers.

To conclude, although there are anecdotal stories of success, the effect of putting too much pressure on children in order to succeed has deleterious effect on them in a long-term perspective. Personally, I would not raise my children under constant pressure to succeed.