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Huynguyen158 Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please correct my essay

Hi teachers,
This is my IELTS writing. Could you please check and give me some advice to improve it? Thank you very much.Emotion: smile

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?
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Recent years have seen an upward trend in the urban migration of people in the pursuit of greater prosperity. While city life presents certain radical challenges, there still are workable solutions can be applied to improve the situation.

People moving to city seem to struggle with many issues and difficulties than they expected. In fact, urbanization has resulted in the demand for jobs are increasing substantially in cities, thereby outstripping the real need for recruiting. This creates an intense competition between job seekers for a well-paid occupation, even a manual worker might find it difficult to land on just a decent job. Second, cost of living in cities is far higher than that in rural areas, which means more financial pressure is placed on city’s citizens besides work, affecting directly to the quality of one’s life. For example, a worker will have to accept poor living conditions if he has to reduce his spending for saving or other future purposes due to high living expenses and his pitiful wages.

Some suggestions need to be taken into consideration to ameliorate urban life. First, governments should promote the economic growth of cities by offering tax incentives to attract more investments and providing support for businesses to expand production. By doing this, more jobs would be created, contributing to reducing unemployment as well as increase average income of residents. Second, governments should also promote the provision of a broader range of public programs, accompanied by improving current public services such as medical services or education system. As a result, qualitative standard of living will be protected and enhanced, making cities become better places to live.

In conclusion, it is true that living in urban areas has its own potential drawbacks. However, there are some feasible solutions, which have been proposed above, that government might consider to improve the attractiveness of city life.
  

Top answer

Recent years have seen an upward trend a sharp increase in the urban migration of people from rural to urban areas in the pursuit of greater prosperity. While city life can often presen t certain radical challenges for such migrants , there still are workable solutions that can be applied implemented to address those challenges. improve the situation.

  • Recent years have seen an upward trend a sharp increase in the urban migration of people from rural to urban areas in the pursuit of greater prosperity.
  • While city life can often presen t certain radical challenges for such migrants , there still are workable solutions that can be applied implemented to address those challenges.
  • improve the situation.
  • People moving to the city seem to struggle with many unanticipated issues and difficultie s.
  • than they expected.
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3 Answers
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Recent years have seen an upward trend a sharp increase in the urban migration of people from rural to urban areas in the pursuit of greater prosperity. While city life can often present certain radical challenges for such migrants, there still are workable solutions that can be applied implemented to a
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Thank you for continuing helping me, teechr.Emotion: smile I have some questions, please help me if you don't mind.

1. The topic of this
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huynguyen158Thank you for continuing to help ing me, teechr.
You're welcome.
huynguyen158an upward trend
That makes it sound as if you're looking at a graph.
huynguyen158the rural to urban migration
No, that doesn't work.
huynguyen158What is

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