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Yaasaay Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please correct my essay

Hi guys

can someone correct this essay please?

it is about essay an advantage and dis advantage.

Mobile phone

With the development of science and technology, mobile phones have already become the most important component of our daily life. The world has changed a lot since they were invented.

There are many advantages, however there are also some disadvantages of owning and using mobile phones.

First, let’s examine the advantages. There are three main advantages to having mobile phone.

Firstly, there is the ability of being able to make or receive a phone call at any time and any place. Secondly, they are essential for contacting with our family and our friends. For example, parents worried about their children, so they can phone them to check they are safe, and children can let their family know if they are going to be late home. Finally, mobile phone can save lives. For example, if there is a significant accident, Just By making a call you can save a lot of lives, wherever the accident take place.

One the other hand, there are some significant problems of using mobile phone. In the first place, using mobile phones can cause accidents, for instance when people are driving and using mobile at the same time. In addition using mobile phones in the public place such as a restaurant, cinema is rude and can be very noise for other people. Lastly, the frequent use of mobile phones causes a lot of damages of our bady , such as damage our eyes,

In conclusion, I believe that, Mobile phones, despite the drawbacks, are good and useful to modern life, However we need to use it in a correct way.
  

Top answer

Hi, Mobile phones With the development of science and technology, mobile phones have already become the most important component of our daily life. The world has changed a lot since they were invented. There are many advantages to owning and using mobile phones.

  • Hi, Mobile phones With the development of science and technology, mobile phones have already become the most important component of our daily life.
  • The world has changed a lot since they were invented.
  • There are many advantages to owning and using mobile phones.
  • However, there are also disadvantages.
  • First, lwe will examine the advantages.
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3 Answers
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Hi,

Mobile phones

With the development of science and technology, mobile phones have already become the most important component of our daily life. The world has changed a lot since they were invented. There are many advantages to owning and using mobile phones. However, there a
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hi Clive

thank you for correct the essay

and

can you give me your opinion

How good is my grammar?

What about the essay

Is it coordinated ?

Please give me your opinion and advice without courtesy

don't matter for spelling

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Hi,

Your essay is short but well organized.

Your grammar has no major problems. Just check my edits, and ask if there is anything you don't understand about them.

Clive

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