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Ikar Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please correct my essay!

I live in Olsztyn. It is a beautiful city in the northeastern Poland. Olsztyn is sorrounded by forests and
lakes. There are 15 lakes inside the city. The municipal forest it is ideal place for a leisure walk and jogging.
Olsztyn's lakes and river Lyna are excellent for fishing and sailing. Water in lakes and in the river is is very clean.
If you walk arround city forrest you can to see wild animals at the Lyna banks or in the forest. Walking along the banks of the Lyna you
can see woods cut by beavers and if you have some luck you can see beavers. In the forest is possible to see mooses and wild boars. An
atmosphere of calmness in this place is unusual. If you walk along banks of Lyna you can also see picturesque bridges, dams and magnificent
gothic castle of the Teutonic Knights.
Olsztyn have pretty old town with the ancient cathedral and many tenement houses. There are restaurants serving regional dishes. In the high
season in my city are many concerts and outdoor shows. If you enjoy history you mustn,t miss the gothic castle, where lived Nicholas Copernicus. The
castle is sorrounded by nice park full of trees and flowers. Near the castle you can seat on the bench with the Copernicus statue.
Also if you like technical monuments you must visit ruins of the old gaswork. There are many interesting buildings.
Maybe if you have some time to spare , you will come to my city ?
  

Top answer

If you want to improve your essay, I would do two things. First, organize it into paragraphs (new subject, new paragraph). Second, make sure the sentences follow each other logically.

  • If you want to improve your essay, I would do two things.
  • First, organize it into paragraphs (new subject, new paragraph).
  • Second, make sure the sentences follow each other logically.
  • Here are my suggested changes (new wording in boldface; old wording crossed out; notes in brackets).
  • I tried to keep your language as much as possible.
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2 Answers
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If you want to improve your essay, I would do two things. First, organize it into paragraphs (new subject, new paragraph). Second, make sure the sentences follow each other logically. Here are my suggested changes (new wording in boldface; old wording crossed out; notes in brackets). I tried to keep your language as much as possible.

I live in Olsztyn, It is

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