Please correct my error and make it more academy

This is my paragrahps, please help me to correct mistakes and make it more academy.

4. Discussion of the findings

The results showed above are by no means capable of covering all the perspectives of student’s MFO, due to the fact that they came from one university and in quite a limited scope. However, Hanoi University is currently hosting a fairly wide range of students with quite diversity of social backgrounds, we strongly assert that a certain level of generalization can be interfered from the obtain data.

4.1. Development and influence of MFO services on students

According to the Figure 1, it is likely that a majority of students used Facebook and Yahoo! Messenger as tools for MFO and they tended to find people living in Asia Australia and America (illustrated by figure 3), to start friendship. Almost all students spent over than 10 hours per week for this purpose (Figure 2). One explanation for that is people prefer to find new friends on common sites so that they can believe the trust for these networks as many people around the world knew about them. Besides, it is considered that these ones are interesting place for everyone to have friendship with persons having same characteristic they require. This activity need times, so they have to online for many hours to get acquainted with their friends.

4.2. Reaction of students

Surprisingly, nearly half of interviewed students thought that these services still had many things which made them dislike beside good ones, so they voted it normal. The feelings recorded in figure 5 is apart of clue for this results. Although many people got positive feeling, there were also many people feel nervous and bored. It is certain that there are people who do not like being in a crowd. There are also people who are shy when meeting friends in public MFO is the best way to meet new friends online for these people. They do not have to meet face-to-face and talk with their new friends immediately. They only need to write that they will say in a message and send it to their friends. In contrary, it is seen to be nature when they protect themselves from negative things and makes them think carefully before provide their profile to somebody.

4.3. Solution of students about safe MFO

They were careful with their new amigos when deciding to provide their profile after many times do individual activities to know more clearly about stranger (Figure 4). According to Jenny (2010), caution is a must when you meet when we meet new friends in real life. There is no fee to make friend with someone, but whenever we do not know about our friends, it is so dangerous if we give them our profile – which makes us became attractive and unique with countless things listed. It will be a double-edge sword if anyone uses it for bad purposes, harmful for us. More long the find out information of our friends, the more we comprehend about manner of them. This probably is also the answer for tendency to share their sensitive when interviewed know exactly what their friend is (figure 6).

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