Please correct and grade my English

Question

I do not know if what I'm doing is wrong, but I hope I could let native speakers to grade my English as I'm a non-native speaker. I'll be a tremendous help if you do because it'll tell me how good is my English and how much effort I've to put to improve.

Do correct my English if you found any mistakes. Thanks.

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My writing:

It's very painful to read the news. Japan was shaken by a deadly earthquake and though most of the buildings managed to stood firmly against the earthquake, they were later hit by a nightmarish tsunami, which obliterate thousands of buildings and kill hundreds of lives.

Ever since what happened on 26-12-2004, earthquake strikes me as a horrible event. Earthquake itself is everything bad and destructive, an earthquake-triggered tsunami makes everything much worse. It affects nearly all the neighbour countries, like a disease that was spreading fast, and snatched away thousands of lives, sending all away from the Earth.

Although I know it's impossible, I hope natural disasters never happen again. I hope the world has peace, and I hope God will protect mankind from further damage. I hope all victims of the heart-breaking disaster will be strong and stay positive. Take it as a challenge and move on on their lives.

Do correct my errors and do kindly grade my essay (on the scale of 1 to 10). Thanks you very much.

Fandorin · Accepted Answer

Danny2312I do not know if what I'm doing is wrong, but I hope I could let native speakers grade my English as I'm a non-native speaker. It'll be a tremendous help if you do because it'll tell me how good my English is and how much effort I have to put to improve it.

Please, correct my English if you find any mistakes. Thanks.

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My writing:

It's very painful to read the news. Japan has been shaken by a deadly earthquake and though most of the buildings managed to stand firmly against the earthquake, they were later hit by a nightmarish tsunami which obliterated thousands of buildings and eliminated hundreds of lives.

Ever since what happened on 26-12-2004, an earthquake strikes me as a horrible event. Even though an earthquake itself is bad and destructive, an earthquake-triggered tsunami makes everything much worse. [Stop for a minute and think this out - you're describing an eartquake in general and, therefore, countries cannot be specified. I wouldn't include such a description] It affects neighboring countries, like a disease that is spreading fast and snatches away thousands of lives sending everything away from the Earth.

Although I know it's impossible, I hope natural disasters will never happen again. I hope the world has peace and I hope *** will protect mankind from further damage. I hope that all survivors of the heart-breaking disaster will be strong and stand firm [Most of victims are dead, I suppose, so there is no way for them to be strong as they face the great beyond.]. Take it as a challenge and move on on their lives.

Will you correct my errors and kindly grade my essay (on the scale of 1 to 10)?. Thanks you very much.

Well, it is 4 out of 10.

First of all you should take a direction of your essay. If you're reporting, just blurt out the facts. If it is more of a consoling, supportive approach to whoever you're addressing, then so be it. It is the first one, I believe. So the last sentence had better be rephrased, because it seems to have been torn out of the context.

Danny2312 · Answer

I'm not reporting, i'm simply writing out my feelings. Thanks for your help, it helps a lot.

Please correct and grade my English

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