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A child never comes into this world thinking that their parents will end up in divorce and become raised by a single parent. In some cases the grandparents give a helping hand just to make it easier on the mother. Growing up without a dad is difficult especially if he was there to begin with before the divorce. Once a couple has come to an agreement that they will get a divorce they may decide to share the responsibility of the children so that they don’t lose the love of their parents. Some parents move on with their lives and find themselves a partner. Their partners become step-parents to the children and help raise them.





I My Life



A Being raised by both Grandmother and Mom

B Meeting my Dad and my new siblings



As time went on in my adult live I met my husband and we had three beautiful children. Everything was fine but as in every relationship there are obstacles that you just can’t avoid and you end up in the middle of a divorce.



II Raising my Children Alone after Divorce



A Growing up without their Dad

B Missing their Dad



Now that my children are in the age of taking care of themselves I was able to move on and find my happiness. In doing so, I have met a man that he as well had a divorce and is raising two sons.





III My Stepchildren



A Shared responsibility of both parents

B Their relationship with step-parents

A child never comes into this world thinking that their parents will end up in divorce and become raised by a single parent. In some cases the grandparents give a helping hand just to make it easier on the mother. Growing up without a dad is difficult especially if he was there to begin with before the divorce. Once a couple has come to an agreement that they will get a divorce they may decide to share the responsibility of the children so that they don’t lose the love of their parents. Some parents move on with their lives and find themselves a partner. Their partners become step-parents to the children and help raise them.



As I was growing up my mother and dad divorced when I was only two years old. We were two, my brother age 1 and myself. She was prepared to be a single parent and also holding down a job to support us. At first it wasn’t easy for her but she managed and got through it all. We hardly got to see our father since the divorce but she managed to give us all the love and support we needed. She moved us closer to her mother so it can be much easier for her to go to work. Her mother helped out a lot with babysitting and with the cooking. She bathed us and feed us before my mom got home from work. It wasn’t easy for her since she didn’t know the English language but she took classes at night to learn it. She worked at a sewing factory until she was able to go back to school to study nursing. She would always tell us how much we need to take care of each other so that one day we can grow up to be respectable people with good careers.





As I got much older it was easier for me to understand why my dad was not around. So I would try to help my mom with my brother and made sure he done his homework before she arrived from work. Even if my grandmother was around us always I would do my best to help. When my Dad had decided to come around and visit we would look at him as a stranger but it didn’t last. We knew he was our father only because our mother would always speak to us about him and show us his pictures. He was very kind to us and brought us gifts. My mom would let us visit him at his home and we got to meet our other siblings. I guess it was fine it never bothered my mother in fact she was very happy that he found happiness. His wife was very good to us and we loved playing with our siblings. He always made sure that we were comfortable and had whatever we wanted. It seems as if he was trying to make up for all the lost time he wasn’t in our lives. I was too young to even think about ever hating him for not being there.



As time went on in my adult live I met my husband and we had three beautiful children. Everything was fine but as in every relationship there are obstacles that you just can’t avoid and you end up in the middle of a divorce. Here I was a woman in her early thirties with three children to raise alone and a business to run. It wasn’t so difficult as how my mother had it, only because I had a small business that paid all the bills. Their father just as mine tried in the beginning to be in their life but then he would just disappear. It was fine because my mother raised me to be a strong independent woman. That is something that my grandmother didn’t do with her so she learned the hard way. She didn’t want me to ever go through what she went raising my brother and me. I played both roles in my children lives. I made sure they had everything they needed in their social life and in their education. Their education was very important to me and teaching them good morals. I enrolled my children in catholic from the moment they were able to start.



My oldest was just thirteen when my husband and I divorced. It hit him the hardest not having his father around and asked to leave with him. My other two children they were much younger and their dad to them he was an amusement park. He would play with them until they dropped. When he was no longer there they would cry for him just as my oldest would. All I did was tell them to always love their dad just as my mom told me about my dad. I would tell them that he loves them and once he gets himself settled he will be back to see them. Eventually that is exactly what would happen. He would come around even if it wasn’t for long since his life had changed. Just like my dad and mom they would never discussed divorce in front of us neither did we around our children. This is one thing that my ex husband and I exercised so that our children wouldn’t be traumatized with our divorce. Now that our children are over the age of 18 they have forgiven him and for the past few years they have been trying to have a good relationship with their dad. He hasn’t have had luck in the love department but at least he has the love of his kids.



Now that my children are in the age of taking care of themselves I was able to move on and find my happiness. In doing so, I have met a man that he as well had a divorce and is raising two sons. During his separation with his wife they had spoken about how they will raise their children and it was for the best interest of the boys to be involved in both parents’ lives. They decided to share responsibilities of raising them and sharing custody. During the time of divorce they did it gradually so that the boys wouldn’t feel the effect of when the other parent wouldn’t ever be home. They were both to small to understand of why they were getting a divorce so what they did was tell them that daddy was at work so his absent would not affect them. Eventually they understood that daddy was no longer living at home and it was just normal to them.



This is where I come in to being their step-mom and their mom’s boyfriend their step-father. The kids have adjusted very well to having step-parents since we all communicate and get along. This is very important when kids have step-parents that they adjust. We communicate with the kids in a very positive way and we help them built confidence in whatever is missing in their relationship with their own parents.