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N2332858 Posted 23 years ago
Grammar
Please Correct
Dear Teachers,
Could you do grammatical corrections to the following sentences?
Thank You Very Much!!!
1. When one’s mind falls into contradictory state with the body, afflictions will arise in one's mind.
2.When one is confined in one’s subjective thoughts, one feel afflicted easily. One may complain about one’s situation without finding one has been very lucky and blissful. One may take what one has and others’ help for granted without feeling gratitude.
3.Whenever I had to do something that I thought is a meaningless thing, I would do it without much concern. However, I found meaningless things I thought include a lot of things.
4.Different people have differing goals to reach. When the motive behind a person’s goal is to earn others’ praise or applause, the person may not gain inner happiness and contentment.
By Yang Chih-Chieh
Could you do grammatical corrections to the following sentences?
Thank You Very Much!!!
1. When one’s mind falls into contradictory state with the body, afflictions will arise in one's mind.
2.When one is confined in one’s subjective thoughts, one feel afflicted easily. One may complain about one’s situation without finding one has been very lucky and blissful. One may take what one has and others’ help for granted without feeling gratitude.
3.Whenever I had to do something that I thought is a meaningless thing, I would do it without much concern. However, I found meaningless things I thought include a lot of things.
4.Different people have differing goals to reach. When the motive behind a person’s goal is to earn others’ praise or applause, the person may not gain inner happiness and contentment.
By Yang Chih-Chieh
Top answer
Other than stylistic, IMHO your sentences are good. You use "one" instead of "you", which is clearly British. What I would recomend is to try to avoid the repetition of "one" by means of changing the style somehow.
- Other than stylistic, IMHO your sentences are good.
- You use "one" instead of "you", which is clearly British.
- What I would recomend is to try to avoid the repetition of "one" by means of changing the style somehow.
- For example, in "When one’s mind falls into contradictory state with the body, afflictions will arise in one's mind", I would omit the final "in one's mind".
- Finally, the adjective "differing" sounds a bit strange to me, but I guess is correct.
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5 Answers
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Other than stylistic, IMHO your sentences are good. You use "one" instead of "you", which is clearly British. What I would recomend is to try to avoid the repetition of "one" by means of changing the style somehow.
For example, in "When one’s mind falls into contradictory state with the body, afflictions will arise in one's mind", I would omit the final "in one's mind". Finally, the
For example, in "When one’s mind falls into contradictory state with the body, afflictions will arise in one's mind", I would omit the final "in one's mind". Finally, the
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Hello
I have a few suggestions.
No.1
"When one's mind falls into a contradictory state ..."
No.2
"One may complain about one’s situation without finding one has been very lucky and blissful."
There is a problem with the underlined words. I would analyse it as follows:
"without" after a clause would usually introduce an adverbial
I have a few suggestions.
No.1
"When one's mind falls into a contradictory state ..."
No.2
"One may complain about one’s situation without finding one has been very lucky and blissful."
There is a problem with the underlined words. I would analyse it as follows:
"without" after a clause would usually introduce an adverbial
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John,
Thank You Very Much!!!
Could I send you my sentences by email or you like to correct on the forum?
See You!!!
Charlie
Thank You Very Much!!!
Could I send you my sentences by email or you like to correct on the forum?
See You!!!
Charlie
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Hi Charlie
Better to keep them in the forum I think. I'm a student of English too, so some of my advice may need correcting by others.
Also, it's interesting for everyone else to see the questions and answers.
Cheers
John.
Better to keep them in the forum I think. I'm a student of English too, so some of my advice may need correcting by others.
Also, it's interesting for everyone else to see the questions and answers.
Cheers
John.
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