Please comment on my IELTS Task 2: Family structure.

Question

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes which have occurred? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?As we all know, the most fundamental element of our society is family. Although family has existed for a long time, it is not static, both in size and functions of its members. In recent years, there has been some changes in the family structures as well as family roles. In my opinion, these changes are favourable.Some changes have occurred in the family structure and the roles of family members. In terms of family structure, the number of extended families decreased and gave way to nuclear families. Unlike in the past, when people often chose to work and settle down in their hometown, people today are more inclined to move to other places, especially big cities, in order to seek better jobs or pursue higher education. This means it is harder for young adults to live with their parents and, therefore, form an extended family. In terms of family roles, the wives play a bigger part in providing for their families. Women used to only stay at home, doing housework and taking care of children. Against the stereotype that women should only be housewives, many of them nowadays choose to follow a professional career and earn money to support their families.I consider these developments as positive. The change from extended families to nuclear families brings about many benefits. Although it means that people have to give up the kinship amongst blood relatives, it also means that young adults will have more opportunities to make good money, and children will have a better environment to maximize their potential. Likewise, the shift of women's role in families is advantageous to the society. Wives involving in making money will alleviate the financial burden on their life partners and give women higher social status and respect. Not only does this trend positively affect the whole economy, but it also serves to promote gender equality.In conclusion, there has been a transformation from extended families to nuclear families, and the change in the women's role in family. Fortunately, these are positive developments.Do you think which band I will get with this writing?

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes which have occurred? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?

As we all know, the most fundamental element of our society is family. Although (missing word) family has existed for a long time, it is not static, both in size and functions of its members. In recent years, there has been some changes in the family structures as well as family roles. In my opinion, these changes are favourable.

Some changes have occurred in the family structure and the roles of family members. In terms of family structure, the number of extended families decreased and gave way to nuclear families. Unlike in the past, when people often chose to work and settle down in their hometown, people today are more inclined to move to other places, especially big cities, in order to seek better jobs or pursue higher education. This means it is harder for young adults to live with their parents and, therefore, form an extended family. In terms of family roles, the wives play a bigger part in providing for their families. Women used to only stay at home, doing housework and taking care of children. Against the stereotype that women should only be housewives, many of them nowadays choose to follow a professional career and earn money to support their families.

I consider these developments as positive. The change from extended families to nuclear families brings about many benefits. Although it means that people have to give up the kinship amongst blood relatives, it also means that young adults will have more opportunities to make good money, and children will have a better environment to maximize their potential. Likewise, the shift of women's role in families is advantageous to the society. Wives involving in making money will alleviate the financial burden on their life partners and give women higher social status and respect. Not only does this trend positively affect the whole economy, but it also serves to promote gender equality.

In conclusion, there has been a transformation from extended families to nuclear families, and the change in the women's role in family. Fortunately, these are positive developments.

There is only one small grammatical error in your essay.

It is well organized, and uses vocabulary words flexibly and correctly. There are a range of correct sentence structures.

It will get a very good band score.

Please comment on my IELTS Task 2: Family structure.

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