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Ben9108 Posted 21 years ago
Grammar

Please comment my grammar

Referring to facsimile’s ABC dated 1 Oct 2005 concerning to the location of control panels for winch system, we would like to submit a proposal of the control panels location at a column of level 5 for your comment and approval.

Enclose herein part plan drawings which are shown the proposed location of the control panels for your reference.
  

Top answer

) ABC, dated 1 Oct 2005, concerning the location of the control panels for the winch system, we would like to submit a proposal for the control panels' location at a column of level 5 (without more context, I'm not sure what you mean here about the location, but it doesn't sound good. ) for your comments and approval. Enclosed are drawings which show the proposed location of the control panels.

— Clive

  • ) ABC, dated 1 Oct 2005, concerning the location of the control panels for the winch system, we would like to submit a proposal for the control panels' location at a column of level 5 (without more context, I'm not sure what you mean here about the location, but it doesn't sound good.
  • ) for your comments and approval.
  • Enclosed are drawings which show the proposed location of the control panels.
  • As a general comment, I'd suggest you try to be more simple and direct in your choice of words and grammar.
  • Best wishes, Clive
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1 Answers
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Hi,

With reference to the facsimile (do you mean a 'fax'?) ABC, dated 1 Oct 2005, concerning the location of the control panels for the winch system, we would like to submit a proposal for the control panels' location at a column of level 5 (without more context, I'm not sure what you mean here about the location, but it doesn't sound go
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