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It’s time to exercise an English writing.  It just happened at around 7:30 pm today at the supermarket.  I go to buy sushi.  There is a staff (lady) who is busy to label the price for sushi.  Next to the lady, another staff (man) is standing there.  When a lady (client) has gone, I arrive in front of the sushi and got two packs.  They are labeled “limited time special”.   So I keep looking at them a few seconds to check if they are fresh.  It just a few seconds I swear it’s not so long, then the staff (man) standing next to me say something to me.  I wear a headphone I fail to listen to him.  Then I move it away a bit and ask him what he wants to say.  He said: are you seeing or buying?  I replied: I am buying!  He is not looking at me and raised his mobile to take photo and impatiently to hit my sushi a little bit while I am standing behind him.  Before leaving I said: you are not polite.  I go to the queue and wait for pay.  But I feel upset a bit and want to talk to his manager.  Near the queue, there is another lady (staff) who keeps checking her stock.  I go to tell her I want to talk to manager.  This lady told me the supermarket manager is off duty but she find Mr. Yu, the department store manager.  He is coming soon.  Mr. Yu listened to me patiently and searched the in-polite staff with me at a long distance.  He will phone related party about the in-polite staff.  I take this chance to thank you Mr. Yu for listening to me.  I would say, listening is a great communication between people.

CalifJim · Accepted Answer

The best I can do for you is to rewrite your story as a native English speaker might write it. Then you can compare your version and my version as a way of learning how to write your story, or as a way of getting some new ideas about how to tell a story like this.

Rita NganIt’s time to exercise an English writing. It just happened at around 7:30 pm today at the supermarket. I go to buy sushi. There is a staff (lady) who is busy to label the price for sushi. Next to the lady, another staff (man) is standing there. When a lady (client) has gone, I arrive in front of the sushi and got two packs. They are labeled “limited time special”. So I keep looking at them a few seconds to check if they are fresh. It just a few seconds I swear it’s not so long, then the staff (man) standing next to me say something to me. I wear a headphone I fail to listen to him. Then I move it away a bit and ask him what he wants to say. He said: are you seeing or buying? I replied: I am buying! He is not looking at me and raised his mobile to take photo and impatiently to hit my sushi a little bit while I am standing behind him. Before leaving I said: you are not polite. I go to the queue and wait for pay. But I feel upset a bit and want to talk to his manager. Near the queue, there is another lady (staff) who keeps checking her stock. I go to tell her I want to talk to manager. This lady told me the supermarket manager is off duty but she find Mr. Yu, the department store manager. He is coming soon. Mr. Yu listened to me patiently and searched the in-polite staff with me at a long distance. He will phone related party about the in-polite staff. I take this chance to thank you Mr. Yu for listening to me. I would say, listening is a great communication between people.

It’s time for me to practice writing in English, so here's my story. It happened at around 7:30 pm today at the supermarket.

It all started when I went to the supermarket to buy sushi and noticed two members of the staff there. A woman was busy putting price labels on the sushi packages, and a man was just standing there beside her. It wasn't clear to me why he was even there.

When the customer in front of me had finished, I was first in line. I selected two packages of sushi, but because they were labeled "limited time special", I wanted to take some time to check whether they were fresh. It could hardly have been more than a few seconds, but the man on the staff came up to me and said something. I couldn't hear him because I had my headphones on, so I moved them away from my ear a bit and asked him what he had said. He said, "Are you just going to look, or are you going to buy?" "Buy," I said. He didn't look at me but just raised his cell phone impatiently to take a photo, close enough to jostle my sushi as I was standing behind him.

Before leaving I told him I thought it was rude of him to talk like that to me.

Then I went to pay in the check-out line, still feeling upset about what happened and thinking that I should report it to the manager. As it turned out, another woman on the staff was near the check-out line taking stock, so I mentioned to her that I would like to talk to the supermarket manager.

She said that the supermarket manager was off duty, but that she could ask the department store manager, Mr. Yu, to talk to me, which she then did.

Mr. Yu listened to me patiently, and then he had me point out the staff member who had been so impolite to me. He said he would phone the supermarket manager to inform him about the rude man. I was very grateful to Mr. Yu for listening to me.

CJ

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