Please comment and give me a band score for my Ielts Writing Task 2

The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit.

What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society?

Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, many people are smoking. As we know, smoking is very danger to the person who use tobacco. Because of this, many causes that scientists find out but I only tell two of many. And for solution, I am going to tell you two solutions for this.

First of all, it is two dangers of using tobacco. One is cancer. For example, two men age 20, they are adolescence, but one now using a tobacco, everyday he feels very tired, and one day he have a heart attack and he gets cancer, he is a strong person and he knows the danger of smoking so he does not have any heart attack or get any cancer. Second one is die. It is very easy to understand, when the first man gets cancer and he die when he very young like 25 to 30 and the second man is strong to the age 80 - 90 like my grandpa, he can live with us to now.

Because of many dangers, we have some solutions for smoking. First is inform by TV or radio or poster, we can ban some nonsense advertisement, TV commercials or radio spots to inform to everyone so that many people can see the dangers of smoking and decrease 20 - 30% of all people who smoking around the world. Last is decrease the number of smoking so that we can reduce smoking in society.

In conclusion, smoking is dangerous but we can have some solutions for this so do not smoking.

(252 words)

Thank you so much!