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Thanhnam46 Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please! check this report for me. Thanks!

This is my writing task 1 essay (from book IELTS 8). Pls! help me check this. Thanks for your comment



The graphs show the changes of annual expenses in a specific school by three different years 1981, 1991 and 2001.

General speaking, the teachers’ salaries were the biggest payments with 40%, 50% and 45% in 1981, 1991 and 2001, respectively. Whereas, the smallest cost was insurance with 2%, 3% and 8% in turn of years 1981, 1991 and 2001.

From 1981 to 1991, there is a dramatic decline of furniture and equipment expense from 15% to 5%. But this kind of cost rose significantly to 23% in 2001. In the contrary, the resources payments increased gradually by 5% between 1981 and 1991 then dropped off to 9% in 2001. Whist, the workers’ salaries hold a downward trend with 28% in 1981, then 22% in 1991 and after that 9% in 2001.

In conclusion, the first position in expenses is hold by the teachers’ salaries and the last is the position of insurance payments.

(153 words)
  

Top answer

a few additions/changes: The graphs show the changes of annual expenses in a specific school by three different years - 1981, 1991, and 2001. General speaking, the teachers’ salaries represented the largest payments with 40%, 50%, and 45% in 1981, 1991 and 2001, respectively. Whereas, the smallest cost was insurance with 2%, 3%, and 8% in turn of years 1981, 1991, and 2001.

  • a few additions/changes: The graphs show the changes of annual expenses in a specific school by three different years - 1981, 1991, and 2001.
  • General speaking, the teachers’ salaries represented the largest payments with 40%, 50%, and 45% in 1981, 1991 and 2001, respectively.
  • Whereas, the smallest cost was insurance with 2%, 3%, and 8% in turn of years 1981, 1991, and 2001.
  • From 1981 to 1991, there was a dramatic decline of furniture and equipment expense from 15% to 5%.
  • But this kind of cost rose significantly to 23% in 2001.
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2 Answers
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....a few additions/changes:

The graphs show the changes of annual expenses in a specific school by three different years - 1981, 1991, and 2001.

General speaking, the teachers’ salaries represented the largest payments with 40%, 50%, and 45% in 1981, 1991 and 2001, respectively. Whereas, the smallest cost was insurance with 2%, 3%, and 8% in turn of years 1981, 1991, and 2001.
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Nice! Thanks for your attendance. It's really help me!!!

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