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Question

Today is saw the girl of my dreams standing like a queuer

She looked so pretty that people called her dear

I stood near her hoping that i could hear

her sweet voice like the one of a fairy seer

My heart goes to rest whenever I see her cheer

But my mind says wake up!

this is the girl from your dreams and dreams seldom become real...

Mister Micawber · Accepted Answer

By 'queuer', do you mean 'person in a line' or 'homosexual'?  If the former, it does not rhyme with 'dear'.

Sajid ali 1903 · Answer

yes its the former one..

Mister Micawber · Answer

You need to forget about trying to rhyme the last word of each line: what that does is distract you from the meaning of the lines themselves.

Sajid ali 1903 · Answer

Thank you very much.. I'm new. Could you help me out with this ?.. I mean how would you like to write this ?

Mister Micawber · Answer

Honestly? I would throw that away and start again. First, take a look at some famous love lyrics:

A Red, Red Rose by Robert Burns

O my Luve's like a red, red rose
That's newly sprung in June;
O my Luve's like the melodie
That's sweetly played in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry:

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun;
I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only Luve,
And fare thee weel awhile!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho' it ware ten thousand mile.

Sonnet 43 - How do I love thee? Let me count the ways, by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if *** choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

To His Coy Mistress, by Andrew Marvell

Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love's day;
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the Flood;
And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Jews.
My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow.
An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.

But at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song; then worms shall try
That long preserv'd virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my ****.
The grave's a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.

Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy willing soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let us sport us while we may;
And now, like am'rous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour,
Than languish in his slow-chapp'd power.
Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness, up into one ball;
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.

Now, take a look at a lot, lot more of them before you start writing you own. Then, when you have written a new one, post it here and we will comment on it for you.

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