Please check this essay my teachers. Thank you so much.

Hello, I would be so grateful if you can give me advice on my latest writing task 2 essay for IELTS, as well as give me an estimated band score. Thank you

Topic: The best way to solve the world’s environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TASK

We live in an age when fossil fuel has become the main source of energy. There is no doubt that the overconsumption of nonrenewable energy puts a huge impact on the environment, and many people claim that raising the fuel price would be the top solution to this global issue. Personally, I believe that other measures should be given equal consideration.

To begin with, increasing the cost of fuel cannot minimize the global dependence on this source of energy. It is clear that our daily lives must go on despite the fluctuation in the price of any commodity, and people may accept to pay more to ensure that their life functions as usual. For example, a driver still needs to fill his car with petrol, or a housewife must buy gas to cook meals for her family. Furthermore, fossil fuel is applied in manufacturing industry and agriculture, if its price increases abruptly, the national economy would suffer unpredictable consequences.

When it comes to controlling the greenhouse effect, particularly gas emissions, the most practical measure at the moment is to reduce the high demand for resources in daily activities such as travelling and production. The affair of travelling can be executed by encouraging people to use public transportation, or even walk if their destinations are not far away. However, the mass transport in some countries is not well-scheduled and comfortable; therefore, what the authority has to consider is upgrading the mass transportation system, also raising the awareness of doing exercises, not imposing higher price on fuel. On the long term, we should lower the reliance on unrenewable energy, especially the one used in production, by taking advantages of alternative resources. Nuclear power in Japan, solar power in the United States, wind and tidal power in the Netherlands have all proven their efficiency in energy production. These could be employed in other parts of the world to mitigate the global dependence on fossil fuel.

Taking everything into consideration, increasing the fuel cost would only put pressure on the economy. On the other hand, raising people’s awareness and applying new clean resources of energy would help solve the environmental problem thoroughly. (359 words)