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116687 Posted 17 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

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Nowadays, I am the captain of my school’s basketball team. Topping athletic skills are not enough for a leader. Every day, I am the first person to the gym; help the coach plan an exercise for whole team. We do our best in each game, as a result, we win most matches in school and inter-school tournament. The playground leaves me numerous memorable moments, especially the last match in "Final Championship". We all did the best as usual, however, our opponents, I had to say they were definitely the best team in this championship. Until the expiration of first half, the score was 34-42; we were the "34". Everyone lost his spirits, thought we would lost this game. Give up? No, these words never show in my dictionary. I knew I should do something to break the ice. In the restroom, I turned on the Apple IPod, played a similar song. Additionally, the coach projected a new triangle-offence to break their zone defense. "Cheer up, win the game!" I shouted, and we hugged together. Confidence was such a matter of vital importance for a match, and as a result the game was back in our hand. The ending was 69-63, we won; all the members and coach thanked to me to get their confidence back.
  

Top answer

I have underlined some problem areas: Nowadays, I am the captain of my school’s basketball team. Topping athletic skills are not enough for a leader. Every day, I am the first person to the gym; help the coach plan a n exercise for whole team.

  • I have underlined some problem areas: Nowadays, I am the captain of my school’s basketball team.
  • Topping athletic skills are not enough for a leader.
  • Every day, I am the first person to the gym; help the coach plan a n exercise for whole team.
  • We do our best in each game, as a result, we win most matches in school and inter-school tournament .
  • The playground leaves me numerous memorable moments, especially the last match in "Final Championship" .
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5 Answers
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I have underlined some problem areas:

Nowadays, I am the captain of my school’s basketball team. Topping athletic skills are not enough for a leader. Every day, I am the first person to the gym; help the coach plan an exercise for whole team. We do our best in each game, as a result, we win most matches in school and inter-sch
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thanks for your response! but could you tell me how to correct these mistakes? Because I can not rewrite some of them.
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Please give it a try and thus demonstrate your effort to learn.
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Much better?

I am the captain of my school’s basketball team. Excellent athletic skills are not enough for a leader. Every day, I am the first person to the gym and help the coach exercise the team. We do our best in each game, as a result, we win most matches in school and inter-school tournament. The playground leaves me numerous memorable moments, especially the last match--"Final Cha
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Good try-- you fixed some of them. I have fixed the rest and a couple more. ('Break the ice' is the wrong idiom):

I am the captain of my school’s basketball team. Excellent athletic skills are not enough for a leader. Every day, I am the first person to the gym and help the coach exercise the team. We do our best in each game, and as a result, we win most matc

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