PLEASE CHECK MY WRITING, THANK YOU

Currently, I'm practicing my writing skill for the IELTS exam and I've found it extremely struggle with this aspect. So can anyone take a look at my essay and point out the mistakes or calculate my band score, I really want to know what level I'm at right now. Thank you.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to shared freely.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People’s opinions differ as to whether or not information should be shared freely on the Internet. While there are some arguments that it is good to publish as much information as possible in terms of scientific research, business and academic, I believe that there is important and valuable information that should be kept as confidential as needed.

There are several benefits that uploading information online would bring. One of the main advantages is that it allows people to have a free access to the knowledge which helps them to widen their horizons as well as attract more people to keep developing the information. Take Wikipedia as an example, it enables users to make any adjustment or supplement to its huge database, therefore anyone can have an easy approach to these valuable information and people can also use it as a reference site for their academic research or project.

On the other hand, I would argue that with important or too valuable information, it should be kept privately secretly as it might lead to numerous negative effects if these are leaked out. Especially, with information related to business such as the company enterprises’ strategies or profit, it would definitely have to be kept with strict security systems, because once another person has those information, the company could not ensure what the situation might become as it could lead to an unfair competition from their rival or other serious problems.

In conclusion, maybe the benefit of sharing as much information as possible online might outweigh its drawback at first, however I still believe it can bring numerous disadvantages that should be taken into consideration.