Please check my writing task 2

Question

The table illustrates the duration of video advertising on average and the average number of seconds of time viewers use watching them on the internet.

According to the graph, the services-related group, such as: public services and financial services, has the longest time on advertisement length and the time viewers watch them. There is the highest seconds of video length on average in public services with 45.8 seconds while the figure for financial services is 20.5 seconds. Besides, public services also have the highest seconds of time viewed to compare financial services with 18.5 seconds and 16.3 seconds respectively.

Another noticeable trend is seen in production-related group and entertainment-related group; named: Home furnishings, consumer electronics, pharmaceuticals, clothing and other retail; which the average time of viewed is quite small. Clothing has the smallest duration of video advertising of productivity-related groups with 14.6 seconds. Apart from the other retail has the shortest time of viewed as 4.5 seconds, the length of time viewed of the figure is highest in two groups with 21.0 seconds.

Overall, the duration of people watches video advertisement online appear to be quite relatively with the duration of them, except other retail.

P/s: If you think some words or sentences should be changed, please make suggestions to help me improve my writing skill.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

The table illustrates (wrong word) the duration of video advertising on average and the average number of seconds of time viewers use (wrong word) watching them on the internet. (You must mention that it lists ten different types of advertising, and gives the average length of the ad compared to the length of time that it is watched. )

According to the graph, (Where is the graph? You did not upload any image of a graph.) the services-related group, ~~such as:~~ ("Such as" means there are more than the ones you listed. But I don't see any more.) public services and financial services, (You cannot logically group these together. Public services are not selling anything. They are general information for the public. Financial services are ads by banks, insurance companies and stockbrokers.) has the longest ~~time on~~ advertisements length and the time viewers watch them. There is the highest seconds of video length (That is not good English) on average in public services with 45.8 seconds while ~~the figure~~ for financial services is 20.5 seconds. Besides, public services also have the highest seconds of time viewed (That is not good English) to compare financial services with 18.5 seconds and 16.3 seconds respectively.

Another noticeable trend is seen in ~~production-related~~ the retail sales group and entertainment-related group; named: Home furnishings, (Home furnishings is not entertainment) consumer electronics, pharmaceuticals, clothing and other retail; which the average time of viewed is quite small. Clothing has the smallest duration of video advertising of ~~productivity-related~~ groups with 14.6 seconds. ~~Apart from~~ The other retail has the shortest time of viewed as 4.5 seconds, the length of time viewed ~~of the figure~~ is highest in two groups with 21.0 seconds.

~~Overall, the duration of people watches video advertisement online appear to be quite relatively with the duration of them, except other retail~~. (Do not write a conclusion paragraph for Task 1. Please read my advice on the structure of task 1 essays. "Duration of people" makes no sense. )

Sample essay:

Paragraph 1: Describe the graphic.

The table lists how long, on average, internet video ads in various categories run compared to the average amount of time that people watch them. There are ten categories, such as public service announcements, retail, travel and entertainment.

Paragraph 2: Pick out 2 or 3 of the most important observations.

Overall, people never watch the entire ad in any category, on average, they view less than half of it. However, there is a large difference among the categories. Financial services ads get the longest attention relative to their length and other retail ads get the least.

Paragraph 3: Pick out some details for comparisons.

In detail, video ads selling items run between about 14 and 30 seconds. Public service videos run longer, around 46 seconds and also retain the viewers' attention longer than any of the other types, about 18 seconds. Still that is much less than half of the total length. Auto and entertainment ads have the longest duration, 27 seconds, and a viewing time of 11-15 seconds. The groups which have the shortest viewer attention span, less than 7 seconds, are electronics, clothing, pharmaceuticals and other retail. People watch more than half of the financial services and travel videos, 16 out of 20 seconds and 13 out of 18 seconds, respectively.

Please check my writing task 2

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