Please check my writing task 1, thanks

Question

The graph below shows the number of library books read by boys and girls at Starmouth School from 2006 to the present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The gragh gives information about the quantity of books that Starmouth school's student read between 2006 and the present day.

Overall, there has been a different trend in reading among boys and girls. Both of them follow a similar pattern in a period time and after that, the difference has become much greater in recent years.

There was an upward trend in the number of documents read by boys and girls from 2009 to 2011. However, more boys liked to read than girls did at this time. In 2009, girls read 27 books and boy read 50 books, the figures continued noticable increase untill peaked at 100 books in 2011.

Since 2011, the quantity of library books read by two genders has witnessed a dramatical difference. The figures of girls constant rose untill reach to 140 books in 2012. At the same time, there was a rapid fall in reading of boys, it dropped to 40 books.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The gragh (What kind?) ~~gives information about the quantity~~ plots the number of books that Starmouth school school's students read between (wrong word) 2006 and the present day. (wrong.The plot goes only to 2012, not 2019) .

You must be very careful in Task 1 to be precise and accurate.

In the first paragraph, tell the reader everything in general about the figure. Do not write about the data values in the figure. Hint: Make a list of all the noun phrases that apply. You will use these - as many as possible -- in the first paragraph. For this graph, here is the list of noun phrases:

1. line graph

2. boys (curve 1)

3. girls (curve 2)

4. Starmouth school library

5. time period: 2009-2012 (X-axis)

6. four data points per curve, one for each year

7. number of books read (NOT information about the number of books.)

8. Range of data values: 20-140 (Y-axis scale: 0-160)

In Task 1, it is much more important to be accurate and precise than to use synonyms or paraphrase the words. If you try to paraphrase, the result may be quite bad and mislead the reader. The objective is to describe the figure and tell the reader your observations.

Model paragraph: The noun phrases listed above are underlined.

The line graph shows the number of books read each year by students in the Starmouth school library from 2009 to 2012. There are two curves plotted, one for boys and one for girls.

Overall, there has been a different trend in reading among boys and girls. Both of them follow a similar pattern in a period time and after that, the difference has become much greater in recent years.

There was an upward trend in the number of documents (wrong word.) read by boys and girls from 2009 to 2011. However, more boys liked to read than girls (This is a conclusion or opinion. Just write about the data, not the reasons. ) did at this time. In 2009, girls read 27 books and boy (wrong form) read 50 books, (comma splice error!!!) the numbers ~~figures~~ continued noticable increase untill (spelling error, wrong verb form, spelling error, missing subject) peaked at 100 books in 2011.

Since 2011, the quantity of library books read by two genders (unnatural - it implies there is a third or fourth gender. ) has witnessed (Do not use the anthropomorphic verbs "see", "witness" or "experience" in Task 1. These are not appropriate for math / science contexts. They are very good for Task 2. ) a dramatical (wrong form) difference. The figures of girls (Girl's figures are their body shapes. Avoid the use of "figure" in Task 1 to refer to a data value. A figure in this context is a graph, table or diagram inserted in the text.) constant (wrong form) rose untill reach to 140 books in 2012. At the same time, there was a rapid fall in reading of boys, (comma splice error!!!) it dropped to 40 books.

Comma splice error: http://www.chompchomp.com/terms/commasplice.htm

Please check my writing task 1, thanks

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