Please Check My Writing Task 1

The line graph provided represents the quantity of visits to two new music websites, Music Choice and Pop Parade, over a fifteen-day period. The amounts of visits are counted in thousands. Overall, there was an increase in the number of visits to both sites but Pop Parade attracted more visitors than Music Choice did.

With regard to Pop Parade, the number of visits declined from just under 120,000 to over 60,000 in the period between day 1 and day 5. There was a slight improve on day 6 but the amount of visits dropped sharply on the seventh day, only about 30,000. After that, the data fluctuated until it experienced a soar from 40,000 visitors on day 9 to nearly 160,000 on day 11. The website underwent a sudden decrease to 80,000 visitors on day 13 before climbing up to approximately 170,000 on the last day.

As regards Music Choice website, the quantity of visitors first stood at 40,000 before fluctuating slightly until day 11, except on day 13 the number reached 60,000. From the eleventh day, there was a significant rise in the amount of visits to about 130,000 on day 14. The number plummeted considerably to 70,000 on the final day.