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Maihuongtb Posted 7 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please check my WRITING IELTS TASK 2 and give me my band score for this task.Thank you.

Some people think that children should learn to compete but others think that they should be taught to cooperate with others.

What is your opinion?

Education has grabbed many headlines in recent years because of its importance. Many people believe that competitiveness should be educated for children, whereas several people think that they should teach cooperation to them. In my opinion, this viewpoint is justifiable to a certain extent.

To begin with, cooperation has a number of advantageous impacts. First of all, this approach helps improve team-building skill. When working in a group, students can learn to develop and express ideas in the most convincing way and avoid unnecessary argument. This teamwork experience may give students a competitive edge in jo-seeking process in the future. Moreover, collaboration activities may strengthen bonding between team members. To be specific, children can know more about their friends and feel more attached to them. Second, thanks to others' feedback and comment, the young are aware of their strengths and weaknesses and thus, they can find ways to improve themselves.

On the other hand, competitiveness also have a host of positive effects. First of all, competitive activities can help students promote their personal attempt. They work separately, which means that they work for their own score, not the score of the whole team. Hence, they'll try better to prove their ability and gain recognition from others. Moreover, learning individually assists students in enhancing independence because they have to do almost everything without others' support. This personality will increase not only the responsibility in their work but also their confidence and flexibility in making their own decision. By contrast, a cooperation-oriented class may boost negative traits among students such as dependence and timidity

In conclusion, cooperation and competitiveness are equally important to the young. While collaboration can help students improve their team-building skill and themselves, it can make them dependent and timid, which is the things that competitiveness can improve. Since the number of the beneficial influences brought about by both cooperation and competitiveness, I believe they should be taught among youngsters.

  

Top answer

Education has grabbed many headlines in recent years because of its importance. (That is not relevant to the topic. ) Many people believe that competitiveness should be educated (wrong word) for children, whereas several (Several means a small number, less than 10.

  • Education has grabbed many headlines in recent years because of its importance.
  • (That is not relevant to the topic.
  • ) Many people believe that competitiveness should be educated (wrong word) for children, whereas several (Several means a small number, less than 10.
  • It is not good here because thousands of people may hold this view.
  • ) people think that they should teach cooperation to them.
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Education has grabbed many headlines in recent years because of its importance. (That is not relevant to the topic. ) Many people believe that competitiveness should be educated (wrong word) for children, whereas several (Several means a

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