Please check my writing

Hallway. 8th floor.

The guys are running down the hall when machine gun fire erupts somewhere above.

Hallway. 10th floor.

Miriam is holding a machine gun in outstretched arms and is looking away while firing it down the hall, trying to improve her obviously very limited shooting skills, preparing herself for the zombies to come.

Hi teachers. Is there anything that bothers you about this or is it all OK as it is? Thank you.