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Anonymous Posted 5 years ago
Grammar

Please check my writing

Toby opens the door a crack and looks out to see a man in the corridor. The man suddenly looks his way. Toby quickly pulls his head back in and quietly closes the door.

Is there anything about this you would change?

  

Top answer

anonymous Is there anything about this you would change? Yes. Don't ever write the word "suddenly".

— Anonymous

  • anonymous Is there anything about this you would change?
  • Yes.
  • Don't ever write the word "suddenly".
  • It is imprecise, and it produces no clear picture, to name just two of its shortcomings.
  • The man glances his way.
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1 Answers
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anonymousIs there anything about this you would change?

Yes. Don't ever write the word "suddenly". It is imprecise, and it produces no clear picture, to name just two of its shortcomings. The man glances his way. The man looks in his direction. The man whirls around and peers into the shadows where Toby is. The man looks up from studying his fingernails, br

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