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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please check my TOEFL essay

Why some jobs are more popular than others?

In our globalized world having job is important factor. It is undeniable that, in the competitive market environment some jobs are more popular. But, what are the reasons? Why being a doctor is more popular than being a carpenter? Why economists are more popular than gardener? The answer covers financial, social and educational factors. Below, you will see more broad information for those questions.

Basically, the aim of job is to earn money for living financially healthy. Therefore, people always search for the jobs which they can earn more. Thus, the job pay more makes it popular. For instance, working in the Big 4 audit companies in the world are more popular than working in the local small companies in. The reason is, the audit companies offer huge possibility to get promoted every year. However, in the small companies there are no significant changes per year income.

The second reason is educational factor. There is a direct relationship between education level and popularity. Big places require ``big`` knowledge. Who has prestigious bachelor degree gets job easily or who has international certificates gets more salary. However, people without professional education cannot be hired for popular jobs. For example, being a cleaner at home does not require more knowledge and pays less which makes it less popular.

Finally, social factors also have significant influence on popularity of job. The jobs which offer security for job, health insurance, and additional benefit packages are more attractive for the people. Because, workers eliminate extra personal costs and get additional benefit. Also, having a popular job has its invisible benefits like, reputation of the company in the market. People who work for the famous companies mostly feel themselves special. The reason is, their market value increases because of their current work.

All of those reasons clearly indicate that, jobs which pay more, require strong education and have invisible benefits for the workers are more popular. Briefly, for being an important worker we have to enhance our knowledge in order to earn more and then, take advantage of extra benefits of the popular jobs.
  

Top answer

Hi Anon: You have made a lot of mistakes in your essay. Here are some suggestions for the first few sentences. Use these suggestions as a guide to edit the remainder.

  • Hi Anon: You have made a lot of mistakes in your essay.
  • Here are some suggestions for the first few sentences.
  • Use these suggestions as a guide to edit the remainder.
  • Why are some jobs are more popular than others?
  • In our globalized world having a job is important factor .
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1 Answers
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Hi Anon:

You have made a lot of mistakes in your essay. Here are some suggestions for the first few sentences. Use these suggestions as a guide to edit the remainder.

Why are some jobs are more popular than others?
In our globalized world having a job is important factor. It is undeniable that, (no comma) in a

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