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Mr1bin Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please check my short essay

I live in Jeonju. Jeonju is not too big and not too small. Jeonju is famous for traditional Korean food. One of the traditional Korean food is Bibimbob. It is made from rice, egg, meat, a lot of vegetables and hot pepper paste.

Also, Jeonju is famous for Hanji. It is made from a specific tree and it is beautiful.

In addition, Jeonju is famous for rice wine. It is made from rice. Many foreigners like it. If you come to Jeonju, I will show you everything about Jeonju.

Please check my wrong grammar
  

Top answer

I have struck out unnecessary verbiage. You have written 'Jeonju' too many times. Try to eliminate some by combining sentences.

— Mister Micawber

  • I have struck out unnecessary verbiage.
  • You have written 'Jeonju' too many times.
  • Try to eliminate some by combining sentences.
  • I live in Jeonju.
  • Jeonju is not too big and not too small.
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4 Answers
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I have struck out unnecessary verbiage. You have written 'Jeonju' too many times. Try to eliminate some by combining sentences.


I live in Jeonju. Jeonju is not too big and not too small. Jeonju is famous for traditional Korean food. One of the traditional Korean food is Bibimbob. It is made from rice, egg, meat, a lot of vegetables and hot pepper paste.

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thank you very much!!
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I guess you should use a paragraph and insted of using Jeonju too much , use a pronounand when you want to write what something is made of use a comma.
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The weather in Europe in the summer of 1816 was unusually wet, preventing people from enjoying the outdoors. It rained in Switzerland on 130 out of the 183 days from April to September of that year. In present time, one could easily turn on a television or surf through the internet in order to entertain themselves.

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