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Anonymous Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please check my personal satment for master degree

Dear Sir/Madam

I would like to apply for your master degree programme. I am an Afghan girl, graduated from Faculty of Economics,KabulUniversity. I finished school when I was an immigrant inIran. It was extremely difficult for Afghan refugees to live inIran; as men were not allowed to work. I and my sister used to attend school during the day and work at nights to support our family’s needs. We was tailoring, cleaning Zafaran flower to earn money for family and also education expenses. But these problems did not stop us in studying and we finished the school successfully.

I passed university entrance exam (Kankor exam) successfully and have succeed to study at the Kabul University, Economy faculty. When I was at the university, I have worked part time for different daily newspapers as a columnist and have published economical articles. I was also selected for a research training course among a very high number of applicants. I successfully passed the course in Research Centre for Policy Research (NCPR) in KabulUniversityand worked as a research assistant. I worked on different economical topics like Afghan women and the effect of their employment on their family income and welfare and some of these topics have been published by NCPR. After graduating from university I started full time work in different organizations, like Afghanistan International Bank (AIB) as a Credit Officer in Trade, Finance and Loan department. I have also worked as a project manager at Legal Aid Centre for Female Victims of Violence, which is run by a national women’s NGO named Humanitarian Assistance for the Women and Children of Afghanistan (HAWCA). This project provides legal and psychological services for females victims of domestic and sexual violence. I guided my staff to help the victims and managed the resources to be used for needy women .As the project manager, I was managing all activities of staff at Legal Aid Centre which contains two defence lawyers, one psychologist, four university students as lawyers assistants, two guards, one driver and one cleaner. I also administered communication among LAC and Ministry of Women Affairs and other related organizations. When this project was started I interviewed all of my staff and provided all equipments which are needed for the running of the projects. I arranged different meetings with shelters and female prisons so the lawyers can study female victims’ cases. Although I was the youngest manager among other managers in HAWCA but my project has known as the most successful project after the first evaluation by donors. I managed the facilities and staff to help women who suffer from domestic and society violence. Some number of my staff was younger than me but using good methods of management I could encourage them to hear me and follow my instructions

At the moment I am working in the Ministry of Commerce and Industry as a Policy and Program Development officer for the Project Implementation Unit (PIU). Project Implementation Unit is working according to the Afghanistan National Development Strategy and assists the Ministry of Commerce and Industry in formulating effective and efficient policies, workable strategies and oversees the implementation of development projects. The policy and programme development unit is working to make realistic and evidence-based recommendations according to the current ministry’s policies and objections. As a Policy and Program Development officers I am working with Policy and Program Officers in different directorates; such as Private Sector Development, International Trade, Legal & Advisory, Industrial Parks Development and Gender Unit Directorate to discuss on reviewed and published policies also we discuses regarding country economy situation. Policy group discuss on finding solution for current economy problem like increases of fuel and beverage prices. At the end of each meeting I submit a final report regarding policy group discussion to policy advisors to be submitted to minister. Particularly I am cooperating with Gender Unit Directorate to prepare Gender policy in the ministry of commerce and industry.

As an Afghan girl, I have faced different ethnicity and gender discriminations in educational and work environments, but still I tried to reach to a higher step in life. I am interested to study in the International Management-MSc in the University of Sheffeild. The University of Sheffeild offers interesting subjects for the Core and Optional modals. The subjects like International Management, Research Methods and Managing people in Organizations attract me to study in the nominated organization. The courses that I had in international trade, investment, global economics and social-public policy have helped me to obtain a good knowledge about global economics and social issues. I believe that a British school can provide me a more academic environment and its well structured educational program will help me to learn from their professional staff. It will also provide me a good opportunity to update my knowledge regarding the key indicators of economy development. In a globalized of our knowledge will help us to have a share on poverty reduction in Afghanistan.Afghanistanis going to access the World Trade Organization so our economy can have a little share in the global trade.Afghanistangot the viewer-membership of WTO in September of 2004 and now Ministry of Trade is trying to receive the primary-membership of this organization. Inter-Ministerial Group is arranged by WTO desk in Ministry of Commerce and Industry to notify all ministries regarding WTO agreements. A more educated and well trained young generation will know the regulation of international agreements better and can play important roles in the future.

I would like to extend my knowledge and skills and I want to assist Afghan women to pursue their goals in business and social independency and help them to reach to highest positions in their society.

Regardless of the outcome of my application, I would like to thank you for providing this opportunity and I am sure it will help our society and will lead to a closer cooperation between our nations in the future.

If you would like any further information, I can be contacted on the above details.

Yours faithfully
  

Top answer

Hello, my name is Amanda, I am American, and I love grammar. I am a native English speaker, so I know when phrasing sounds awkward, and I also know the correct usage of formal English. All of my changes are i n purple.

  • Hello, my name is Amanda, I am American, and I love grammar.
  • I am a native English speaker, so I know when phrasing sounds awkward, and I also know the correct usage of formal English.
  • All of my changes are i n purple.
  • S ometimes, I added a space or a comma, or I deleted a word, and it was difficult to see, so I highlighted it like this.
  • ] Dear Sir/Madam , I would like to apply for your M aster 's degree programme.
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2 Answers
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Hello, my name is Amanda, I am American, and I love grammar. I am a native English speaker, so I know when phrasing sounds awkward, and I also know the correct usage of formal English.


All of my changes are in

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