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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please check my paragraph

i have seen a girl bus in the begining we dont know each other but slowly slowly we started to know each others during the trip she has got ill i was not getting understand at that time what i do fr her then i went to one guy and took some medicen from him and given to her now i am following in love with her but now she is showing attitude to me she is thinking i like another girl i swear i didnt se her girl in a bus if i have a intrest in her i can pas my number to her but i didnt do
  

Top answer

First, you must divide your paragraph into SENTENCES. I have underlined some other problem areas. Please try to fix them and re-post your effort: i have seen a girl bus in the begining we dont know each other but slowly slowly we started to know each others during the trip she has got ill i was not getting understand at that time what i do fr her then i went to one guy and too k some medicen from him and given to her now i am following in love with her but now she is showing attitude to me she is thinking i like another girl i swear i didnt se her girl in a bus if i have a intrest in her i can pas my number to her but i didnt do

  • First, you must divide your paragraph into SENTENCES.
  • I have underlined some other problem areas.
  • Please try to fix them and re-post your effort: i have seen a girl bus in the begining we dont know each other but slowly slowly we started to know each others during the trip she has got ill i was not getting understand at that time what i do fr her then i went to one guy and too k some medicen from him and given to her now i am following in love with her but now she is showing attitude to me she is thinking i like another girl i swear i didnt se her girl in a bus if i have a intrest in her i can pas my number to her but i didnt do
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1 Answers
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First, you must divide your paragraph into SENTENCES. I have underlined some other problem areas. Please try to fix them and re-post your effort:

i have seen a girl bus in the begining we dont know each other but slowly slowly we started to know each others during the trip she has got ill i was not getting understand at that t

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