Please check my IELTS writing task 2 essay. Thank you so much

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People have different views about whether they should accept bad situations such as unsatisfactory jobs, shortage of money; or attempt to solve these problems. I personally believe that people should try their best to take control of difficult situations.

On the one hand, there are some reasons why people choose to content with bad situations. First, they believe that problems and terrible circumstances are an inevitable part of human life. For example, people cannot avoid some diseases such as cancer, or illnesses related to abnormal genes. Some people, therefore, find peace and quiet by accepting bad situations instead of worrying about them. Second, certain unpleasant circumstances such as failure would give people a valuable experience or a lesson. Thus, some people consider failure as a motivation to help them move forward.

On the other hand, it is better to face bad situations and address them to have positive consequences. There are situations that people have the capacity to act and find solutions. For example, if a person is in shortage of money, he can take a part-time job or work overtime to get extra money. Additionally, by acting promptly to solve bad situations, people can avoid worse consequences. For instance, people who are unsatisfied with their jobs for a long time could have detrimental effects on themselves such as stress, poor health; and their companies as well, such as low productivity.

In conclusion, I would argue that people need to analyze problems carefully when facing bad situations. If it is an unchangeable problem, ignore it, or if not, thinking wisely to tackle such a problem is the best solution.