Please check my IELTS Writing Task 2 and give me some feedbacks. Thank you in advance!

TOPIC: Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is little room for doubt that state funding should be directed towards the betterment of citizens’ life quality. Because of this, what authority should spend on remains a source of constant debate. It is believed that government subsidies should be diverted to artists who receive a meager income as their contribution is of tremendous benefit to the public. However, I have mixed opinions on this.

It is understandable why some people subscribe to the view that artists who have below-average income merit financial aid from the government. The key rationale is that arts help preserve national identity, a country’s distinctive culture and its values may be at stake if efforts are not put into protecting creators as well as cultural heritage. At the same time, a plethora of talented painters is consigned to oblivion and forced to give up their artistic path while searching for career opportunities. It is attributed to their lack of financial support to produce works of art and bring the works displayed in museums or art galleries.

Notwithstanding the paramount importance of artists, I am convinced that public expenditure should be allocated to all domains which are in an economic predicament in order of precedence. For example, in light of Covid-19 outbreaks, a number of urgent situations require state spending such as health services and agriculture activities, which make direct impacts on economics and the quality of people’s life. Furthermore, there are numerous people living in chronic indigence who are struggling to maintain their life, so they are the ones who need the authority’s attention more than any others. Alternatively, artisans can call for investment from individual institutions and organizations which have particular concerns for this sector.

In conclusion, while there are good justifications for subsidizing struggling artists to help them sustain their work and passion, I believe state budgets should be injected equally and artists could rely on alternative sources of sponsorship.