Please check my Ielts Writing Task 2

Task 2: In many cities there is little control on the design and construction of new homes and office buildings, and people can build homes in their own style. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a situation?

My essay:

It is a fact that in many urban areas, people can construct houses depending on their hobby due to the lack of relevant policies. While this trend can be beneficial to cities, this also leads to some drawbacks for the their residents.

On the one hand, this trend has a benefit to the development of metropolis areas. This could help to increase the number of people living in the city. Since the local authority allows people to build houses in their own style, people are likely to be attracted to settle down in the city to erect their dream homes. As a result, the city could increase their workforce to develop its economy.

On the other hand, the lack of policies about building houses can bring some disadvantages to the local people. Firstly, some houses and buildings in those cities could be not safe for people to live. It is because there are no special requirements about the designs of those buildings so people can construct them without focusing on their safety. In consequence, people living in and near those buildings would hardly cope with dangerous situations such as arson or earthquakes. Secondly, this phenomenon could decrease the area for social activities in the city because people often have the tendency to widen their houses as much as they can. If the local council do not have strict laws to control the design and construction of buildings, there would not be enough places to build other public facilities such as roads or parks.

In conclusion, while the lack of policies about constructing houses and buildings can help to develop the city, it also has adverse impacts on the safety of local residents and the areas for social activities.

(287 words)

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Please help me with my essay, thank you teacher!