Please check my ielts writing task 2

I think my lexical resource is still poor and simple, so correct and upgrade my vocabulary and grammar as well. Many thanks.

Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep on it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer

Some people know what they want to do and make their passion being true when they were children. While a think this is a great way to work at a satisfied workplace, there are also a lot of different things that help to have a dreaming job.

On the one hand, I accept that people who can pursue to their passion as soon as possible will satisfy with their future job. Someone easily find out favorite job and they start improving their knowledge when they are still young. Thus, these people will feel a great sense of satisfaction with work because they spent much time in preparing for later job. Moreover, they have put focus on a profession for a longer time then the others, therefore, most of them will get a successful career.

On the other hand, while someone easily discover their own dreams as expressed above, there are people starting lately realize the true passion when they had a stable career. For example, a lawyer realized that the literature was his passion and he wanted to become a writer. In fact, he may not reach success in writing area but he feels happier and more satisfied than when he still was a lawyer. Additionally, apart from early career, there are many factors that bring a sense of satisfaction in workplace, such as working condition, great promote opportunity, enthusiastic colleagues regardless of profession.

In conclusion, the satisfaction level with job can not be observed by how long time you take to pursue, a variety of items also can effect the job satisfaction.