Please check my IELTS Task 2 writing

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Please check this IELTS Task 2 writing for me.

Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because parents spend more time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Parents have an indispensable role in the growth and behavior of children. In the recent times there has been a considerable increase in the social problems involving young people. Some believe that this is because parents spend more time at work than with their children. I partially agree with this view.

With the needs of modern life and the desire to reach coveted positions in career steadily increase, working parents spend more time at work than at home. This results in children staying alone at home or in the company of friends or neighbors. This puts them in a vulnerable situation as some of those these children hang out with could get them into bad habits or anti-social activities. A report by Narcotics Control Board of India states that from June 2018 to June 2020, around 300 children aged between 14 and 19 were used by drug dealers to peddle a variety of contraband substances and around 70 percent of these children were from homes where parents returned late after work every day.

Those who oppose this view argue that parents’ spending more time at work cannot be the sole reason for children being involved in social problems. An individual’s behavior is governed by his or her thoughts, beliefs, education and approach to life. Studies conducted across the world suggest that young people who have involved directly or indirectly in anti-social activities are from families where both parents spend a significant amount of time their children every day.

In conclusion, there is no denying that parents who have long work hours expose their children certain risks especially if they are alone at home but stating this as the major reason for their involvement in social problems untenable.