Please check my IELTS Task 1 Writing == describe a map

Question

The map below shows the development of a seaside village between 1995 and the present.

Write a short report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

This picture show changes in the area between 1995 and today. As we can see the area has major changes during this period, including new buildings and alteration of some areas.

In the past, there was a fishing port in the sea and the top of it, there were a fish market and shops beside the road that restructure to apartment and restaurant nowadays. There is a road in the map that expanded in house region and several new houses built across it.

The farmland and forest park in the top right-hand corner demolished; however, in that place, a golf field and tennis court were created. There was a hotel that didn't change whereas a car park adds next to it.

It seems that the whole region changes his agricultural and fishing environment to tourism field and entertainment area. this transformation is clear by these changes.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

This picture (Be more specific. What kind of picture is it? Also there is more than one. ) show changes in the area (Be more specific. "Area" is very general.) between 1995 and today. ~~As we can see~~ (unnecessary verbiage) the area has major changes during this period, including new buildings and alteration of some areas. (Be more specific.)

Model paragraph. Describe the aspects of the figures, but not any information.

The two maps of a seaside fishing village, one dated 1995, and one for the present time, show the changes that were made during the past twenty-four years.

In the past, there was a fishing port in the sea and the top of it, (wrong expression) there were (wrong form) a fish market and shops beside the road that restructure to (wrong expression) apartment and restaurant ~~nowadays~~. There is a road in (wrong word) the map that expanded in house region (wrong expression) and several new houses built across (wrong word) it.

Paragraph describing the 1995 map:

In 1995, there was a fishing port with a pier and dock for boats, and a fish market nearby. A road ran east-west parallel to the shoreline with a hotel at the intersection with a road going north. Along the east-west road opposite the fish market was a row of shops, and a cafe was on the seaside opposite the hotel. Along the road running north was a housing area. East of this road, there was a forest park and farmland.

Paragraph describing the changes:

At present, the road configuration has not changed, but for an east-west road extended into the housing area north of the coast. There is more housing, and the forest park and farmland were used to make tennis courts and a golf club.
That hotel has a parking lot on the east side and the shops were converted into restaurants. In place of the fish market, there are apartments, and the dock and pier has been removed.

The farmland and forest park in the top right-hand corner (use compass directions ) demolished; (wrong form) however, in that place, a golf field (wrong word) and tennis court were created. There was a hotel that didn't change whereas a car park adds (wrong form) next to it.

It seems that the whole region changes his agricultural and fishing environment to tourism field and entertainment area. this transformation is clear by these changes. (That is a conclusion. Do not write conclusions in Task 1; just describe the information.)

Please check my IELTS Task 1 Writing ==> describe a map

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