Please check my IELTS essay, thank you!!!

It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy their job. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people argue that being out of a job is more favorable than having a job that you do not feel satisfied with. From where I stand, whether the former choice is better than the latter or not is based on a person’s financial status.
On the one hand, better-off individuals in society may prefer a pause in their working life. Because these people do not make choices based on money, they can enjoy other activities outside the work context, which may require sufficient financial means; for instance, by traveling or pursuing further education to acquire more skills. These activities not only improve their life satisfaction but also help them to understand themselves and enhance their knowledge, thereby succeeding in getting a better job in the future.
On the other hand, less well-off people tend to benefit more from continuing their job. While they cannot quit their job because of their financial backgrounds, they can hone their skills and learn how to cope with pressures in their current occupation. Regarding the former, every job, no matter how unsatisfying, teaches a worker certain field-related knowledge and soft skills such as teamwork and communication. Therefore, improving themselves at their current job while looking for a new and potentially more attractive one can be a sensible option. Moreover, it goes without saying that in life, you will always have to deal with unfavorable situations. Continuing a work that you do not enjoy may help you to accept your negative feelings and know how to tackle stress, which is something that everybody should learn.
In conclusion, it is quite impossible to compare the two choices because they both have distinct merits, and one may be more suitable for one person than another depending on their wealth. Therefore, a person should take into account these points before making a decision. (305 words)