Please check my IELTS essay and give me an overall score( thank you)

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

After receiving their first punishment, a majority of criminals retake illegal actions. This is mostly due to the lack of effective rehabilitation. This problem can be tackled by taking simple measures.

The main reason that hardened criminals exist, and some of them simply choose crime over normal life, is that they found rehabilitation far beyond their reach. Firstly, not all prisons provide prisoned criminals with facilities that can help them to take some actions to reform themselves or even reflect on their mistakes. For instance, a large portion of crimes takes place in slum areas, which means that not enough budget is dedicated to jails. Offenders would receive punishments that increase their stress level coupled with an atmosphere that only teaches them how to become better offenders. on the other hand, some of them are not mentally ready enough to rejoin the society and, therefore, decide to go back to their inappropriate lifestyle and what they are actually good at( committing crimes).

Prisons were initially built as places to reform the personality or behavior of people who preferred the wrong way owing to various factors. By ensuring that valid and reliable source of information (for instance, books or motivational content) is provided we can be optimistic that those who want to change will at least have the equipment that are required for their long journey. furthermore, we can legislate laws for supporting them after their punishment is served. For example, allocating special sectors in companies for people with criminal records or encouraging small start-ups to use former offenders and receive funds for hiring them.

In conclusion, offenders may choose to violate the law over working within the law, in many cases, because they are not rehabilitated completely or primarily since even if they want to leave a crime-free life their past would deter them. Nonetheless, they are still a part of our community, and by supporting them we would surely make significant improvements in decreasing reoffending from them.