PLEASE CHECK MY ESSAY (WRITING TASK 1-IELTS)

Question

The pie charts compare guests’ opinions on the Parkway Hotel’s customer service in 2005 and 2010.
It is evident that there were more customers content with the hotel’s service in 2010 than in 2005. While a clear majority of respondents found the service satisfactory or poor in 2005, half a decade later, most of them rated it as excellent or good.
With regards to positive feedback, it is deducible that only 5% described the customer service as excellent in 2005. In 2010, however, this figure increased almost threefold to 28%. In addition, the proportion of survey participants who thought the customer service was good rose dramatically from 14% to 39%, accounting for the largest share in 2010.
Turning to negative responses, the proportion of hotel visitors who considered the service as very poor dipped steeply from 15% in 2005 to 5% in 2010. On top of that, the proportion of people who regarded the service as poor nearly halved to 12% in 2010. Finally, a slump in the number of ‘satisfactory’ ratings in 2010 indicate that more guests gave positive responses to the questionnaire that year.
(186 words)

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The (How many?) pie charts compare guests’ opinions on the Parkway Hotel’s customer service in 2005 and 2010.

~~It is evident that~~ (Avoid these dummy-it clauses. They have little content and add nothing to the essay.) There were more customers content with the hotel’s service in 2010 than in 2005. While a clear majority of respondents found the service satisfactory or poor in 2005, half a decade later, most of them rated it as excellent or good.
With regards to positive feedback, ~~it is deducible that~~ (Do not write opinions or conclusions in Task 1. Besides, deductible is not the correct word.) only 5% described the customer service as excellent in 2005. In 2010, however, this figure (wrong word. Do not use "figure." It means number or quantity only in special contexts, and most task 1 essays are not that context.) increased almost threefold to 28%. In addition, the proportion of survey participants who thought the customer service was good rose ~~dramatically~~ from 14% to 39%, accounting for the largest share in 2010.
Turning to negative responses, the proportion of hotel visitors who considered the service as very poor ~~dipped~~ ~~steeply~~ from 15% in 2005 to 5% in 2010. On top of that, the proportion of people who regarded the service as poor nearly halved to 12% in 2010. Finally, a ~~slump~~ decrease in the number of ‘satisfactory’ ratings in 2010 indicate that more guests gave positive responses to the questionnaire that year.

You did not include the instructions, but other students have posted this essay before. These instructions are very important because of the specific information - the number of participants in the survey.

The charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Sample essay:

Note that because there were 100 people in each of the two surveys, you can use number interchangeably with percentage. Using numbers makes the essay a little more readable and natural.

The two pie charts, 2005 and 2010, present the results of a survey given to a hundred customers of the Parkway Hotel regarding their level of satisfaction with the hotel's customer service. There were five categories of ratings: Excellent, Good, Satisfactory, Poor and Very Poor.

Overall, there was a marked improvement in the average level of customer satisfaction, with many more people responding excellent or good in 2010 than five years earlier.

In detail, the category receiving the largest number of votes in 2005 was "satisfactory" with nearly half (45) selecting this value. Over a third responded that the service was either poor (21) or very poor (15). In contrast, the two worst categories in 2010 had a total of 16 votes, less than half that of the prior survey. And the satisfactory category was also much less, with 17, compared to 45. In 2005, only about one in five (19) rated the service as good or excellent, the latter being the smallest category with only five votes. In 2010, however, "excellent" was the second-highest choice, with 28 votes, comparable to the category with the highest number "good" which got 39.

PLEASE CHECK MY ESSAY (WRITING TASK 1-IELTS)

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