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Air guava 700 Posted 7 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please check my essay . Thank you.

Topic:

Some People Think That All Teenagers Should Be Required To Do Unpaid Work In Their Free Time To Help The Local Community . They Believe This Would Benefit Both Individual Teenager And Society As A Whole. Do You Agree Or Disagree?My Essay:

People have an opinion about unpaid work which voluntary teenager should do to help their local community in their leisure time and they support that this is only be beneficial for both individual and society as a whole. However, I completely disagree with this view.

Most young students have endured great pressure from their studies and their parents. In fact, school is just as demanding as a full-time job, in which teachers always expect their pupils to do complete homework. Especially, all students’ parents and teachers require them to pass with flying colors in both middle and final exams. So, in their free time, we should encourage them to take part in some leisure sports and to enjoy with their friends. Besides, they can volunteer to help other people if they want.

At the same time, I do not believe that society can develop rapidly if teenagers are forced to do unpaid work. This view may have brought some drawbacks which will effect on cognitive and active junervies. For example, if they required to do work without salary , they would feel that they were being used by society. From this, which can lead to several consequences, especially is violence because young people have enough knowledge from society ‘s law. Currently, nobody is forced to volunteer, and this is surely the best system.

In conclusion , teenagers may choose to work for free and help others , but in my mind, we should not make this compulsory.

  

Top answer

The instructions for Task 2 are: You must write 250 words or more. Your essay is too short. You will get a lower score for this.

  • The instructions for Task 2 are: You must write 250 words or more.
  • Your essay is too short.
  • You will get a lower score for this.
  • People have an opinion about unpaid work which voluntary teenager (What is a voluntary teenager) should do to help their local community in their leisure time and they support (wrong word) that this is only be (ungrammatical verb phrase) beneficial for both individual and society as a whole.
  • However, I completely disagree with this view.
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1 Answers
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The instructions for Task 2 are: You must write 250 words or more.

Your essay is too short. You will get a lower score for this.


People have an opinion about unpaid work which voluntary teenager (What is a voluntary teenager) should do to help their local community in their leisure time and they

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